


Close Enough to Love

by lillykins



Series: Close Enough [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bad Decisions, Dark, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forced Bonding, Knotting, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-10-16 07:32:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10566573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillykins/pseuds/lillykins
Summary: After a bad breakup with Victor and a move to Canada, Katsuki Yuuri is finally getting his life back together.  An unexpected knock on the door makes everything come crashing down.





	1. Unexpected visitors

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends,  
> This is my first time. Please be gentle. And mind the tags.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *I added a few lines and fixed some typos*

\---------------------

_An Introduction:_

_Congratulations young Omega! You have joined the elite ranks of humanity. Out of the 7.5 billion people in the world you are part of the 20% that have not lost their dynamic tendencies. You have been blessed with natural instincts and heightened abilities. Take advantage of your nature._

_Typical humans are beta born from beta who have lost their natural instincts. It takes between four and six generations for the scent and bonding glands to disappear completely._

_Unfortunately, most humans have a negative opinion of alpha and omega. You will encounter people who will hate you for no other reason than that you are omega. Don’t let this hold you back, it is expected for them to react negatively to your scent. It is the natural born fear of a superior being._

_450 million other omega lead a perfectly ordinary lives. Through use of masking soaps and lotions, doctor prescribed suppressants and birth control, well timed vacations, and lies of omission, you will also be able to blend into the general population._

_Without the use of masking products and suppressants, humans will be able to smell your dynamic nature._

_Other dynamics will recognize that you are a fellow dynamic even with the use of masking products but they will not draw attention to it. They face the same reality as you. In return for this discretion, do not draw attention to others._

_Some words of advice as you embark upon your journey: Trust your instincts, they will guide you. You are beautiful and unique. You are not a stereotype. You are not less of a human as others would lead you to believe. You are strong. Embrace your nature and live well!_

_-Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’_

_This guide is published by the WDPG © 2020_

\---------------------

Quebec, Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Yuuri Katsuki stood in the kitchen and looked around his new apartment. A man’s home is his castle and his was… shabby. He had lived here a month and there were still boxes everywhere. He had only gotten as far as unpacking what he needed day to day. _One thing at a time, just like the therapist said._ He sighed, adjusted his glasses, and ran his hand back through his dark hair. He had worn it long for the past several years and cut it just before the last Grand Prix Final. It was liberating.

 _I may as well do one thing. One thing before I shower._ He opened the first box he came to. Inside was a case containing an Olympic gold medal displayed on a Japanese flag. _Of course, it would be this box._ There was no point in winning anything if he couldn’t get his shit together. _Damnit, I'm 26. I should have it together by now._

Dinner time it is. Yuuri retraced his steps to the kitchen and savagely attacked a protein bar. Still angrily chewing, he moved to the bathroom to start the water. This apartment was in an old building and it took a few minutes for the water to heat up enough. He was sore from training and missed his home. Growing up in the hot waters of an onsen spoiled him. Canadian showers were never hot enough to satisfy.

At least he already spoke French.

It was still the off season but the endless repetition of practice brought peace to his mind. Today, he pushed just a little too far.

He wanted to go home but he knew he couldn’t. His family home was full of memories of Victor. Their relationship. Skating and training together. Spending time in Russia and Japan. Their tragic love.

 _Victor_.

Yuuri’s breath caught in his chest. He could feel the hot claws of a panic attack reaching up around his ribs. He went for the rubber band that he wore around his wrist as calmly as he could.

Yuuri took a deep breath.

He snapped the rubber band.

_Don’t think about it._

He snapped the rubber band again.

During the Olympic games, he found himself sharing a great deal of time with Jean Leroy and Otabek Altin. There was a comfortable companionship among the three alphas. Sure, Jean was a bit annoying at times. His arrogance could be agitating but Yuuri could see that most of it was false bravado. The Canadian was relaxed during the competition and it made him drop most of his more annoying habits.

Constantly hiding a dynamic status is a stressor for everyone. Some more than others.

Fortunately, the Olympic village was an easy place to be. Alphas and omegas tended to filter up to the top of society. They were the athletes, artists, and politicians of the world. Few other places on Earth offered a dynamic population in such a high concentration.

Otabek was… Otabek. He broke up a fist fight between a curlier and a bobsledder with the same deadpan expression on his face that he used when he opened the door for an old lady. It seemed to Yuuri that nothing could ruffle this man. He was steady and trustworthy, the kind of person you wanted with you in every situation. He wasn’t cold, just… stoic.

It was strange though, that he didn’t spend more time with Yuri Plisetsky. Yuuri thought the two other men were close.

The friendship that began in Pyeongchang is what brought him to Quebec. After finding himself … unexpectedly coachless… at the Grand Prix Final, he needed to find a new place to train. His childhood ballet teacher Minako was a wonderful standin but he needed an actual figure skating coach.

The three alphas also spent time together in Milan during the World Championships. Yuuri did not compete there because he won gold at the Olympics. This was seen as polite but it didn’t mean he couldn’t go to cheer for his friends. Mostly though, he didn’t want to stay in Phichit’s home alone.

During a dinner party with his new friends, Yuuri learned that Jean’s parents wanted to take on more students and they lived in a dynamic protection town. It was a perfect solution. And an escape. He couldn’t keep imposing on Phichit. His best friend had better things to do.

Yuuri started and looked around nervously. He realized he had been staring aimlessly into the shower while lost in thought. _Ok. I can think about the Olympics without having a panic attack. That’s good to know._ Yuuri did not get lost in his anxiety during that competition. It was easy to do when he didn’t feel much of anything.

In reality, the Olympics were amazing for Yuuri. He won the gold medal for the men’s figure skating division. Yuri Plisetsky placed second. Christophe Giacometti narrowly beat out Jean and Otabek for bronze. It was a good show.

 _Ok. Enough._ The water was finally hot enough for Yuuri to shower. He slowly stripped down and still distracted, stepped into the steaming spray. _I’ll pick a different box when I finish._

\---------------------

After Yuuri was finished with his shower he dressed in yet another dark blue tracksuit. He hasn’t found the box with his other clothing yet so a tracksuit it was. At least it was comfortable. He left out the arduous process of masking his scent. He would be alone all night and there was no need to hide his nature from anyone in the safety of his own home. His suppressants would mask his scent enough that he wouldn’t bother his neighbors.

The man spent only enough time looking in the mirror to make sure his face was clean and his hair was laying in the correct direction. It was difficult to look himself in the eye.

 _Time for another box._ He chose one in a different room than the box he tried earlier. Yuuri took a deep breath and opened the box. _Oh. It’s just towels._ The man sighed in relief. _I can handle towels._

Yuuri was giving all of his concentration to the towels, laying them just right in the linen closet, when someone started pounding on his apartment door. Whoever it was, they were acting like the door had caused them a deep personal insult. Yuuri scrunched up his face and thought about who could need to talk to him that badly.

He had just talked to Jean an hour ago. His constant checking was grating but Yuuri could appreciate the fact that he cared enough to be annoying. He had already spoken to Phichit today. His friend was less annoying than Jean but still required daily contact. Yuuko, his childhood friend, would still be sleeping in Japan.

A stream of elegant French obscenities joined the pounding at his door. That didn’t narrow it down much… they were in Quebec.

Resigned to his fate, Yuuri opened his door. A man filled the doorway and roughly pushed his way inside. Yuuri got a flash of green eyes and bleach blond curls before the man shoved his way into the apartment. He was dragging someone else behind him. Yuuri turned to watch the two others invade his living room. Recognition filled his sluggish mind. Christophe Giacometti and... Yuri Plisetsky?

He stopped wondering about it as soon as their smell hit him. Like a brick wall. Doing seventy miles per hour. Through his suppressants.

The smell had many complex layers. The predominant layer was sweet omega full of sage and peaches. This was to be expected as both Yuri and Chris were omega. Underneath that: fear, sadness, anxiety, anger, and distress were mixed together. It made Yuuri dizzy with its intensity. Further underneath was the light smell of lime before the snow.

_Victor._

Yuuri snapped the rubber band on his wrist.

_Focus on what is in front of you._

There was something else in the scent Yuri and Chris were giving off. Something even sweeter than the typical omega smell. Something familiar. _Something mine._

Before Yuuri could think about this further, Chris was back. He started shouting obscenities again and manhandled Yuuri into the living room.

He took a moment to look around himself.

Yuri was crouched on the sofa with his shoulders drawn in like he was trying to make himself smaller than he already was. His long blond hair was messy and unbrushed. He had on a loose pair of sweatpants paired with a nondescript t-shirt. His skin was even more pale than usual and he had dark bruises under his eyes. He didn’t look anything like his normal impudent self.

Chris wasn’t much better. He looked beyond tired, his face wan and pale. His clothing and hair were messy and he hadn’t bothered to put his contacts in. Chris was also extremely angry.

_I have never seen him so angry before. I should really start listening to him._

“...ed, you son of a slut. This is your fault and I’m done cleaning up your messes.”

_My messes?_

_Victor._

Yuuri snapped the rubber band again.

“Fuck you, you stupid bastard. Go rot in hell.” Yuuri got blasted with the tail end of Chris’ rant. His chest was heaving and his face was stained red with anger. His fist was clutching the right side of his chest, fingers tangled in his shirt. Chris spat on the floor at Yuuri’s feet. “Go fuck yourself.”

Yuri started crying.

It was an ugly cry, with tears and snot running down his face and loud sobs filling the air. Chris instantly calmed himself and sat down next to Yuri. He made quiet shushing noises and pawed at the other's hair. Yuuri could smell the calming pheromones of an omega in full nurture mode filling the room.

“What is happening?” Yuuri was completely out of his depth.

“It’s not for me to say.” Chris answered. He was much calmer but his voice still had an edge to it. “You need to get Yuri to talk to you.” He tensed his shoulders and looked Yuuri directly in the eye. “I’ve been supporting him with my scent for days. As soon as I pull back he will panic again. But he’ll calm down if you scent him. And stop taking your suppressants, that’ll help.” He turned to leave and turned back again. “Oh and um...” Chris’ face slid from pain to anger. “Go fuck yourself.”

With that final insult, Chris withdrew.

\---------------------

Yuuri looked down at Yuri. Chris was right...the ugly cry was back. Yuri’s eyes were full blown with white ringed panic. Without hesitation Yuuri let his instincts guide him.

He had never fully sented an omega before.

He took off his glasses, gathered Yuri in his lap and turned his face into the scent gland on his neck. Yuuri thought very hard about calming down while he rubbed the gland on his left wrist to activate it. When the pheromones were flowing freely he ran his hand through Yuri’s hair, careful to make sure his wrist touched as many of the blond strands as possible.

Yuri stilled at his touch and sighed into his skin. His body relaxed.

Yuri gently rubbed his nose into Yuuri's neck and slowly rearranged himself to straddle Yuuri’s lap. Yuuri was encouraged by this and ran his arm up and down Yuri’s back. Something about this felt correct, like he had been there before. _It must be because I am an alpha and he is an omega. It’s so comfortable. Nature really is strong._

He felt different holding Yuri. More confident and able to express himself better. Like the endless fog in his mind was lifting.

Now that Yuri finally seemed calm it was time to find out what was going on.

“Yuri” He started softly. He turned Yuri’s face up so they could look at each other. The look Yuri had surprised him. His face was relaxed and his eyes were half closed in pleasure. He looked like he had been drugged. _Maybe I was thinking a bit too hard._ The strength of his scent had always been a problem so he backed off a little. _He’s so out of it._

Yuri blinked and rubbed his eye like a child waking up. He froze when he realized his situation. _Just how much was Chris supporting him?_ Now that he was more alert it was time to try again.

“Yuri. Can you tell me what is going on?” Instantly the Yuri’s face was on fire. He hid himself in Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri waited patiently for the other to speak. Yuri always did things at his own pace and this would be no different.

“...nent...” Yuri smashed his face against the wall of flesh in front of him. Nothing else happened.

Yuuri sighed heavily.

_Maybe if I made him angry...I’ll use the nickname._

“Well, Kitten, you are going to have to do better than that. We won’t get anywhere if you don’t speak up.” He tried to be ironic without altering his pheromones.

Yuri arched his back in anger and spat out “Don’t call me that!” His movements brought him face to face with Yuuri again.

“Well hello there…” Apparently, for a person driven by anger, anger was the key. Yuuri could not hide his pleased little smile.

Yuri scowled at him and called him an asshole.

 _Good, he’s back._ Yuri didn’t change much in the years Yuuri had known him. Yuri had grown from a smol angry ball of Russian fluff to a slightly larger angry ball of Russian fluff.

He did not gain as much height as everyone expected him because of his dynamic nature. Omega tend to have slightly smaller bodies than alpha or beta. The two men were about the same height. His rounded cheeks were smoothed into something more angular, almost feline. His body shape changed too but it was almost unnoticeable. His hips were slightly wider and he carried a few extra pounds around them.

Finding Yuri’s personality after the panic was grounding.

“Will you tell me again?” His voice was light. Yuri’s anger was a fine line between communication and violence. _It’s best not to push him too far._

Yuri took a deep breath and puffed his cheeks out like a child being forced to take medicine. _Shit, that was... cute?_

“I’m pregnant.” He scowled again, daring Yuuri to argue with him.

Yuuri was surprised, then angry, then surprised that he was angry. The anger won.

“Who? Who did this to you.” He tightly gripped Yuri’s hips. “I will rip them apart. Was it Otabek? Did someone force you?” Rage surged through him. Yuri would not get pregnant on purpose and destroy his skating season. With the two men so close together and covered in each others scent, Yuuri’s instincts screamed one word. _Protect._

Yuri shuttered as the wave of anger hit him. “No.” he said in denial. “It was… um... me. There’s no one to go after.” He bit his lip in discomfort.

“You didn’t get yourself pregnant. Who was it.”

Yuri shook his head and looked away.

“Who?”

Yuri ignored him harder.

 _Fuck sake. Am I going to have to use the voice on him?_ Yuuri shuddered at the thought. The voice was one of the things he hated most about his nature. Why would humanity mutate a weapon that gave one person absolute power over another? It was cruel. _Fuck it. I won’t get anywhere if I don’t do it._

“Yuri, who is the father of your child?” He imbued his words with every scrap of power he could muster. No one breathing would be able to disregard his question.

Yuri’s eyes widened and then narrowed. His look clearly said _You will regret that._

 _Yes._ He thought as fearful brown eyes met enraged green orbs. _Yes I will._

“You are.” His tone was a deadly threat. They stared at each other for a moment. One in anger and the other in shock that quickly changed to panic.

Yuuri ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Yuri started to cry.

\---------------------

Two epically volatile panic attacks later, they found themselves wound together in Yuuri’s bed scenting each other.

During his panic attack, Yuuri realized that Yuri could not breathe because he was panicking just as badly. Yuuri the inside of his lip hard enough to draw blood. The pain of it let him break the cycle of panic to help. As soon as he could he started scenting Yuri again. Carrying his child, he would react strongly to his scent and mirror his emotions.

“You need to tell me the whole story. I don’t seem to remember fathering a child.” Yuuri’s voice was tart and felt his chest tighten again. _If I panic he will too._

He snapped his rubber band.

“Tomorrow. I’m just so tired. It’s too much.” Yuri mumbled, all but asleep already. He pressed his face further into Yuuri’s neck and took a deep breath.

_Too much is right…_

“Tomorrow then.”

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that.  
> I am unfamiliar with the tagging system here. If I missed something important, please let me know and I will add it.  
> Thank you for your time  
> -lils


	2. It Was Only Ever You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast and explanations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Minor edits*

\---------------------

_ On packs: _

_ Some alpha are more powerful than others. This is the natural order of things. Some people are better at math, some better at sports, and some are stronger alpha. _

_ In ancient times packs were formed for mutual survival. It is instinct for a weaker alpha to seek protection from a more powerful alpha. This urge is stronger when mated. In modern times the need to belong to a pack remains but these urges have thinned through time. In the past century, the only time this instinct asserts itself is during periods of emotional turmoil or when in contact with an overly powerful alpha. _

_ Joining a pack does not change a person’s day to day life but it does prevent most emotional problems related to a dynamic nature. Now, packs are formed through friendship or necessity. _

_ An alpha, when in close contact with an overly powerful alpha will submit in an effort to join the pack. This is unavoidable.  _

_ There are two options if you find yourself submitting to another alpha. One, you could break contact with the alpha and two, you can join the pack. The alpha you are submitting to should be familiar with this situation and has most likely experienced this problem before. This person has probably already formed a pack. They will be able to help you.  _

_ Most alpha will let you join, if only to prevent problems later on. If you choose to break contact with this alpha expect a period of depression. Your instincts are telling you that you are an unworthy alpha. This is, of course, untrue, but your body will still feel the rejection.  _

_ The longer you have been associated with this alpha, the worse the symptoms will be.  _

_ There may be a situation where the weaker alpha is submitting to the stronger and has not been added to the pack but the two are still closely associated. This is dangerous. The longer this stalemate goes on the worse the effects will be.  _

_ Once an alpha has submitted to another, they can expect escalating symptoms such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, angry outbursts, erratic behavior, catatonic episodes, self harm, and suicidal thoughts, until the situation is resolved.  _

_ It is the responsibility of the stronger alpha to prevent this situation. _

_ If you find another alpha submitting to you it is your responsibility to find a solution. _

_ ***IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING ANY OF THESE SYMPTOMS, SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU NOTICE ANOTHER ALPHA DISPLAYING THIS BEHAVIOR SAY SOMETHING.*** _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Alpha: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Quebec, Wednesday May 23, 2018

Yuri came awake slowly. Awareness seeped into his mind like the first rays of sunlight breaking through a fog. His hazy brain made him aware of several things in quick succession. One, he was in someone else's bed. Two, that someone else was spooning him. Three, this someone else had their arm thrown over his body and was slowly stroking his abdomen.

Fourth, it was wonderful. 

Then, realization hit him. Chris shouting. Panic attacks. The voice. Yuuri knows.  _ Yuuri knows.  _

_ Yuuri knows… and he’s snuggling with me and petting my belly… _

His body tensed, ready for another panic attack. When nothing changed he relaxed a little. He decided to pretend to be asleep. 

_ That’s not so bad. Maybe he won’t hate me.  _ This thought was small, almost desperate.

_ I feel so… warm? Comfortable? Protected? Safe?  _ He mulled over each word as it came up trying to decide how he actually felt. Finally, he settled on  _ right  _ . 

Yuri pressed his shoulders into the warm body behind him. The hand stroking his belly stilled, then resumed.  _ He’s waiting for me to wake up. Fuck that, he can wait. _

Yuri was almost asleep again when the shrill sound of Phichit’s voice shouting “Oh shit, it’s JJ.” filled the room.  _ Seriously?  _ He thought as he tried to stifle a giggle.  _ Is that really his ringtone?  _ Damnit, he was supposed to be pretending to be asleep.

Yuuri groaned and answered his phone.

He listened in on one side of the conversation.  _ Oh shit. It really is JJ. Fucking JJ.  _

“Hello Jean... Yes… I’m fine… I won’t be at the rink for a few days… Really, I’m fine… No, I’m not alone… No! Don’t come over…”  _ Thank God for that.  _ “I said I’m fine... Yea… Oh… let me talk to Isabelle…” a pause, “Yes… Can I have  _ your  _ doctor’s information?... Mmm yea, that one…” Yuuri wrote down the information and ended the call.

He laid back on the bed and sighed heavily. “I know you’re awake... there’s no use hiding. I’ll go make breakfast.” 

He may not be able to hide but he can take his sweet damn time. He wandered to the attached bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.  _ Who put me in this monstrosity of a shirt?  _ It was a horrible mustard color that was in no way friendly to blond hair and pale skin. He ripped off the offending garment and banished it to the trash can. 

A few moments of rummaging around in the cabinets awarded him an unopened tooth brush and a few other toiletries. Distracted by the task of cleaning himself he let his mind wander.

_ I’m going to have to tell him everything.  _ Escaping through the window was not an option. The apartment was on the fourth floor.  _ Why does he sigh so fucking much? I know that breakup was harsh but, God damn… Everyone acts like he’s going to run off the nearest bridge.  _ He scowled into the mirror and started on his long blond hair.  _ Everything’s a fucking mess.  _

Yuri looked at his body in the mirror and laid his hand low on his belly. He did not look pregnant. At seven weeks the only change he noticed was a thickening of his hips and a slight gut under his belly button. He still looked like a normal man but he could feel the extra weight. It wasn’t a skater’s body anymore. 

When he was finished in the bathroom he pilfered a shirt from Yuuri’s hamper. It was nice to finally be covered in petrichor and peach again.  _ Well baby, let’s go find out our future.  _ He gave a final pat to his abdomen and headed to the kitchen. 

\---------------------

When Yuri finally entered the kitchen a traditional Japanese breakfast was waiting. Rice and baked fish was paired with miso soup and some kind of chopped vegetable dish. A cup of tea rounded out the meal. Yuuri was looking in the refrigerator. 

“I’m just getting your drink. Why don’t you start eating?” He glanced at Yuri and took in his appearance. The new shirt was duly noted and a slight pink tinge slid across his cheeks. 

“Give me that orange juice and you’re getting it in the face.” Yuuri redirected his hand to the pitcher of water.  _ Good choice. _

Once the water was safely delivered Yuuri sat down on the other side of the table. He didn’t look like he planned on eating. Yuri shot him a frown but let it go because the meal was good and he got distracted. Growing up in a traditional inn had helped quite a bit with Yuuri’s cooking skills. 

They sat in silence as Yuri ate his meal. Having a well balanced breakfast was certainly improving his mood. While he ate, Yuuri became progressively more agitated.  _ Just fucking say it. _

“Ugh. Just fucking say it.” Another frown.

“I made us… um… you a doctor’s appointment. It’s tomorrow morning.”  _ Does he think he’s in trouble?  _

“Oh. I’ve not gone yet anyway… I guess it’s time.” 

They tried to make several other little small talk noises at each other until Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

“You’re going to have to tell me what happened.” It wasn’t a question but it wasn’t the voice either. Just a simple statement.  _ Just watch what happens if he uses that fucking voice again. _

Yuri quieted. There was no use fighting this or acting angry. He knew what he did was wrong and now, there was no way to run from it. “Let’s go into the living room.”

Once settled on opposite ends of the sofa Yuri opened his mouth to start his story several times.  _ How the hell do I even do this?  _

Yuuri sighed again. 

_ Oh, that fucking sighing. _

Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

“Just tell me what happened.” This was more like a plea. There was no anger in his scent, just apprehension and doubt.  _ May as well go for it. _

He took a deep breath. “It was at worlds. A-after the banquet.” 

Yuuri snapped his rubber band. 

“Mmm… I was drunk. I don’t remember anything.” Yuri knew he was thinking of other banquets and other consequences. Other pain.

“Yea… I was feeding you drinks all night. I...umm... wanted it like that.” Yuri turned his face down in shame.

Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

\---------------------

Milan, Italy, March 25, 2018

_ This was a bad plan.  _ Yuri had succeeded but, well, it was still a bad plan. Sitting next to him on the hotel bed wearing rumpled clothing and a dazed expression was one extremely inebriated Katsuki Yuuri.

But he had to know. Why did Victor disappear? What made them break up?  _ Do  _ I  _ have a chance? _ The last question was very small like he was afraid to even think it.

The young omega held a morbid sort of fascination with the awkward alpha since their first encounter in a bathroom stall.  _ I still regret being such an asshole to him.  _ His obsession grew worse with each passing year. 

He looked at Yuuri sitting next to him. His face was flushed and his dark hair was sticking up in all directions. His framed brown eyes were glazed over with drink. The expression on his face was relaxed and slightly vacant.  _ He’s so attractive! _

And Yuri could smell him. Petrichor with gentle hints of peach. His emotions were a bit harder to read. He was relaxed but his scent held undertones of confusion, contentment, and the slightest hint of arousal.  _ Interesting. It must be the drink. _

_ I’ll never get another chance like this.  _ So Yuri asked the question he thought most important. “What happened with Victor?”  _ They had such a good relationship.  _

Yuuri’s face fell and Yuri could smell hints of pain and sorrow. 

“You can tell me. I’ll listen to anything. Please… just tell me what happened.” Yuri took his hands and squeezed them in what he hoped was reassurance. Yuuri looked up at that. His face was conflicted for a moment until he decided to trust the other and speak.

“I… tried to bond him. Not like in a pack but… like a mate.” Yuuri looked down again. He was ashamed. “I lost control… just for a second. It just… wasn’t… good. It doesn’t work like that between two alphas.”

Yuri hummed in response and encouraged him to continue. Romantic relationships were not that unusual between alpha but he could see how one trying to bond the other like an omega would cause problems between them. Yuri filled the room with a calming scent and added expectancy and a hint of question to it. 

“He started submitting. I hate that so much.” Once started, the words flowed out of him. Under Yuri’s caring gaze he was finally able to confess his sins. 

“It’s happened before but I wanted an equal relationship and I thought that if maybe I could ignore him submitting long enough he would stop and we could just be lovers. I hate it. I hate it so much, stupid alpha and stupid pheromones. I didn’t ask to be like this and I NEVER wanted to be powerful. I could have lived my whole life as human and been just fine.” He pushed on through his tears. 

“It’s happened before and I knew the signs but I was proud and stupid in love and I just ignored it even though I knew it was hurting him. I sent him away.” Yuuri started to wave his hands around and his voice rose with every sentence. “I HAD to send him away. It was killing him. I couldn't just add him to the pack. I couldn’t do that to him. We were supposed to be equal and I couldn’t break my own rules anyway. He didn’t fit the requirements. I loved him and I DESTROYED him.”

“Wait… You have a pack?” Yuri was surprised and… pleased. His alpha… no… this alpha was strong enough to have a pack?  _ Why is he making a face like it’s a death sentence and not an accomplishment?  _ Yuri added an undertone of pride to his scent.  _ He’s amazing!  _ “Will you tell me about it?” Yuuri blinked in confusion and he continued without shouting.

“I only add mated pairs so it won’t cause problems and that’s why I couldn’t with him. And there has to be a two way bond. That’s important, it’s not fair that an alpha gets to force an omega to do whatever they want. It has to be both ways. I don’t even want to be a pack leader and I only did it to stop people from submitting to me all the time.” He turned his eyes to Yuri in belligerent challenge. “You try to talk to your best friend and have him flinch, look down, and meekly say ‘yes alpha’ like it was his job. And all I wanted to do was to go to dinner! It happened like that all the time. It started with Takeshi and Yuuko. I was 16! 16 years old and I couldn’t even go ice skating without someone groveling at my feet.” He flinched.

“It makes me SICK! Phichit was next. I lived with him and Danielle in Detroit. I knew the signs but I was smarter that time. As soon as it started I asked him to join. It was easy.” Yuuri frowned darkly. “It was too easy.”

Yuri was sorting through this information as quickly as he could. It helped that Yuuri was talking rather slowly due to his blood alcohol level.  _ The hesitation to get close to others, the anxiety … it finally all makes sense.  _ One bit of information stuck out.

“Who’s Danielle?”

Yuuri blinked as if the change of subject confused him again. “Phichit’s wife. They got married in 2013… right after they bonded and I added them. They have two kids.”

_ Well damn, that’s one of the best kept secrets in the skating world. _

Yuuri must have picked up on his confusion “Danielle likes to keep out of things. She’s a quiet person. Have you ever noticed that Phichit’s social media is  _ only  _ about skating?”  _ That’s a fair point. _

“So… let me make sure I understand.”  _ Finally, a use for all those lessons on communication and anger management that damn old hag made me take.  _ “You are an unusually powerful alpha that regularly overpowers other alpha. You had to build a pack to stop others from submitting to you.” Yuuri nodded at both statements so he pressed on. “The reason that you and Victor broke up was because  _ he  _ was submitting to  _ you  _ and you could not add him to your pack?”

“Yes.” The word escaped his mouth like shame.

“So,  _ you  _ broke up with Victor because it was your responsibility keep him safe by  _ never seeing him again  _ ?” Yuri could not keep his excitement under control.  _ I do have a chance. I just need to keep pushing. _

Instead of answering Yuuri bust into tears.  _ I’ll take that as a yes. _

Yuri moved to comfort him. He pushed closer and carefully took Yuuri’s glasses. Then he laid Yuuri’s head on his shoulder while forcing as much comfort into his scent as possible. He ended up straddling Yuuri’s lap.  _ He’s so close and his scent is all over me. _

\-----------------------

They were still sitting together long after Yuuri calmed down. He was completely relaxed and he was pushing his nose aggressively into the scent gland in Yuri's neck. 

“You smell so good.” he sounded somewhat surprised. “like peaches…”  _ Like peaches? I thought he was the one that smelled like peaches.  _ “no… like peach cobbler. It's so sweet.”

Yuri shuddered as the Yuuri's hot breath slid across his neck. Below him, Yuuri was growling low in his throat so lightly it was almost a purr. He slowly slid the flat of his tongue across Yuri from his collarbone, over his scent gland, to the base of his ear.

Every nerve in his body exploded.

He gasped and reflexively ground his hips forward into Yuuri’s lap. He could feel the slick running out of himself to form a wet spot in his pants.  _ He has to know how much I want him and he's just as aroused as I am. _

_ This is my chance to finally have him. _

Yuri slowly ran his hand up the base of Yuuri’s neck and wound his fingers into his short hair. Gentle tugging tilted Yuuri’s head back so he had access to his neck. Yuri then returned the favor.

Yuuri groaned threw his arms around his attacker. He arched his hips upward and held Yuri close, burying his face in Yuri’s neck again. “Fuck… you smell so good.”

Then he tensed and pushed Yuri away slightly. He whimpered at the loss of contact. “Are you sure this is what you really want? I won’t be able to stop.” Yuuri whispered into the space between them. 

“Yes.” Yuri shivered again and drew close.  _ He won’t remember anyway.  _ “I’ve been in love with you for years.” he whispered across Yuri’s mouth. He could feel his own face heat at his words. “I’ve wanted this as long as I’ve known you.” he continued.  _ If I don’t say it now I will never be able too.  _ “It was only ever you.”

Yuuri made a disapproving noise in the back of his throat. “You’re a child.”

“I’m 18. Age of consent is 16 anyway.”

“I’m drunk.”

“So am I.” The whispered conversation was making Yuri’s arousal grow. He made small circles with his hips into Yuuri’s lap.  _ I want him so much.  _

“Pregnant?”

“Heat’s not till May.” They were so close to kissing they could taste each other’s words. As painfully close as they were, Yuuri was not making a move. Yuri whined as Yuuri spoke again. 

“I’ll knot.”  _ Oh. OH. I thought he was going to say no again. _

“Please.”

“I… Fuck.” The air was thick with their mixed scent and Yuri was drunk on petrichor and peaches.

He couldn’t help the small laugh that spilled out of him. “That’s the point.”

Yuuri made another small noise in his throat, this one a predatory grow as his restraint snapped. He surged forward to claim Yuri’s mouth and it was surprising in its intensity. Like all things Yuuri did, he hesitated until he made a decision and then he acted with confidence. 

And act he did.

In one swift movement, Yuri found himself laying on his back with Yuuri towering above him. He shivered again as the kiss broke and his shirt was slowly peeled away. He looked up at the man he loved. Yuuri’s eyes were wide with arousal and his blush was no longer embarrassment or shame. This was uncontrolled lust. 

Yuuri slowly trailed one finger down Yuri’s shoulder, around his nipple, and across his abdomen. He licked his lips and ran the flat of his hand back up to Yuri’s neck where he suddenly pinched the scent gland. 

Yuri arched his back in surprised pleasure and cried out.

“You are so delicate.” His nipple was pinched. “So delicious.” His pants were gone. “I could do this forever.” Light kisses, nips, and licks were spread from his rib to his hip. “Perfection.” One long wide lick was applied from the base of his throbbing cock to the tip of its engorged head. 

Yuri came.

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;( Forgive me.
> 
> Writing the breakup was difficult but hopefully, it happened in a believable way.  
> I hope you enjoyed.  
> Have a beautiful day.


	3. Chris to the Rescue Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some smut, some explanation, lots of talking, then Chris shows up.  
> *Guide entry has been updated*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,  
> A dear kind reader pointed out that I did not give an age to Yuuri (or really explain a timeline). I did go back and edit chapter one to reflect Yuuri’s age but I thought I would just let you all know so you didn’t have to go back:  
> My story mostly follows canon (with only tiny adjustments) and Barcelona happened in 2015.  
> This story starts at the end of March 2018. Yuri is 18. Phichit is 23. Yuuri is 26. Chris is 28. Victor is 30.  
> Thank you and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> -lils

\---------------------

_ On Imprinting _

_ During presentation there is a possibility of imprinting on another. The person who has imprinted will experience a strong attraction to the person they have imprinted upon, who in turn will find the one who has imprinted attractive due to extreme genetic compatibility. While not rare this is somewhat unusual.  _

_ After imprinting the dynamic’s physiology will change to align with the one they have imprinted upon. This is nature's way to ensure a strong mated pair and viable offspring. An imprinted pair will be more closely aligned than a typical mated pair. A young dynamic will not imprint on someone who is mated or someone they consider to be a family member.  _

_ When deprived of the one they imprinted upon, the young dynamic will repeatedly seek out the other. This is a biological imperative to mate. Once this need is satisfied, through sex or medical treatment, the imprinting behavior will cease. Imprinting is an expression of pure lust, and there may be an emotional attachment that remains after the imprinting is resolved. Not all imprintings end in romantic relationships but, if the attachment is still present, the person has developed natural romantic feelings.  _

_ Imprinting can also be resolved through the use of medically prescribed pheromone treatments. _

_ This trait is not exclusive to omega. Alpha will also imprint. _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Milan, Italy, March 25, 2018

_ This was a great plan.  _ Yuri had not expected this, and well... It was absolutely a great plan. Sitting between his bare legs on the hotel bed wearing splatters of semen and a triumphant smirk on his face was one extremely satisfied Katsuki Yuuri. 

It didn’t look like he would be finished anytime soon.

His lidded eyes traveled lazily up Yuri’s body and the corners of his mouth turned up more as he took in the havoc he wrought. He made eye contact and kept it as he painstakingly cleaned his face with his fingers. 

_ Oh, my God, is he going to…. OH MY GOD he’s EATING IT. _

Yuri’s arousal built again quickly under Yuuri’s penetrating gaze. With his face finally clean he leaned forward and laid his cheek along the inside of Yuri’s thigh. His tongue darted out to taste the slick coating Yuri’s leg. 

“So sweet.” He said to himself. Still without breaking eye contact, Yuuri slowly backed off the bed, unbuttoned his shirt, and removed his pants.  _ I’ve watched him change before but, Goddamn. _

_ That has to be the hottest thing ever. _

He was wrong.

Fully naked and erect, Yuuri came back to the bed and ran his hands up the Yuri’s pale thighs. He leaned in close and rubbed his thumb gently along Yuri’s perineum and licked his lips. 

It was time again for Yuuri to act.

Finally breaking eye contact, he grabbed Yuri’s hips and roughly flipped him onto his stomach. Then he forced Yuri’s knees up under him and savagely pushed his chest into the blankets. He made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a growl.

Deprived of contact again, Yuri whined deep in his throat. He was completely exposed to the older man and quivering in anticipation.  _ What is he going to do next?  _ One finger gently traced down every bump in his spine. 

He shivered again when that single finger continued down between his cheeks, across his hole, and all the way to the slit in his cock. 

His erection was painful. 

The teasing finger moved again to make lazy circles around his asshole. His slick ran freely. Yuuri leaned forward and braced himself with a hand on his hip. His finger slowly breached the tight ring of muscle, sliding in and out with slow persistent strokes. Yuri’s breath caught in his throat. 

A second finger was added to the first. The sensation changed as small scissoring motions were added. He could feel Yuuri hovering over him, painfully close. 

_ I think I might die from this! _

Yuuri found his prostate and he saw stars. 

Another finger was added to the relentless assault.

He came again.

Seemingly satisfied by this, Yuuri gave him no time to catch his breath. As soon as the fingers withdrew Yuri could feel Yuuri in position to take him. Slowly and delicately, he was entered with one long insistent stroke. As soon as Yuuri bottomed out his hard length was withdrawn again. Yuri felt a hand weave into his hair and pull it tight. His head was rolled back and his spine arched. Yuuri’s other hand reached around and palmed his cock.

The cruel, tantalizing, perpetual motion continued, increasing in speed until their bodies were slapping together and loud gasping moans were involuntarily drawn out.  _ This is everything I’ve ever wanted.  _

After a series of particularly hard deep thrusts, Yuuri stilled within him. Breathing hard, he let out a feral growl as he came and his knot swelled, stretching and filling Yuri beneath him. Yuri could feel the hot liquid rolling in, flowing through him and filling up his most needy places.

He came a third time.

_ I can’t believe I blacked out.  _ He realized he was on his side with Yuuri behind him. He was stroking Yuri’s hair and murmuring nonsense into the back of his head.  _ I could lay like this forever, locked together with him.  _ He shivered in quiet pleasure and closed his eyes. 

He drifted in and out for several minutes until Yuuri spoke. “This is the first time I’ve knotted inside.” he whispered, “I didn’t think it could be like this.” He began to move again with short gentle thrusts. 

Yuri could feel the knot working inside him, dragging over all the right places and filling his cock once more. This round was tender and loving, full of gentle caresses and feather light kisses along his shoulder blade. The emotion of it caught Yuri off guard. 

He came a fourth time, softly. A mild grunt from behind him and more liquid fire added to his already filled insides was all he needed to tip over the edge. 

Yuuri wound his arms around Yuri and mumbled into his ear. “I love you Vitya.”

A single tear ran down Yuri’s face.

_ I finally had him and he’s gone again. He can’t ever know this happened. _

\---------------------

Yuri didn’t think this part of the plan through. He had: get Yuuri drink, get Yuuri to talk then... nothing. So, he called the one person that he knew would help, no questions asked. 

Chris was at the hotel room’s door mere minutes after the panicked phone call. When Yuri opened the door for him, Chris quietly slipped in, the epitome of stealth. The presence of another omega was grounding and his pheromones calmed Yuri’s panic immediately. 

Chris’ pupils dilated as he surveyed the scene before him. The scent of sex was thick in the air and Yuri was a disheveled mess. Then, Chris realized who was in the bed.

“What did he do to you.” He hissed. 

“He didn’t do a thing to me… well, nothing I didn’t fucking ask for.” he frowned up at Chris. “I need you to help me get him out of here. He can’t know this happened.”

“Katsuki Fucking Yuuri. Destroys people’s lives and they just let it go.” Chris shot a dark look towards the bed. “What the hell are we going to do with him anyway, dump him in the hallway?”

“Or fucking not. Do you have Phichit’s number? He’ll help.”

Chris made his way over to the window to make his call. Yuri sat on the bed next to Yuuri and stroked his hair.  _ This is the only time I will have him like this.  _ He wasn’t going to waste the chance to touch him.  _ I guess I should get him dressed.  _

Fortunately, Yuuri was not completely passed out. Dressing him was a matter of giving stern and repeated instructions. 

“I am going to walk him to Phichit’s room.” Chris looked relieved that was all he had to do. “Then I will be back. You  _ will  _ tell me about this.” Yuri scoffed.  _ So much for no questions asked. _

“Take the key. I’m going to shower.”

\---------------------

Quebec, Wednesday, May 23, 2018

“I’m hungry.” Yuri scowled down at his stomach like it was betraying him. He seemed more relaxed now that his sins were out in the open. 

Yuuri was staring at him in disbelief. “Why… why make such an effort to get me alone? I honestly thought you hated me… That’s how you acted.” 

Yuri scowled deeply again. “I said I’m fuc… Ugh… Can I tell you after we eat?”  _ Wow, he is really making an effort to be nice. _

“Fine.” He replied, resigned to wait. He needed a few minutes to regroup anyway. He moved to the kitchen and tried to sift through his thoughts while he prepared the meal.  _ Decide how you feel and then act.  _

He snapped his rubber band.

_ Stay calm. _

He wasn’t going to have another panic attack. He felt like he missed a step on the staircase and gravity hadn’t decided yet if it would right him or plunge him to his death.

Shock was the predominant emotion. He woke up in Phichit’s room after the banquet and was told that after drinking too much he threw up on his suit. It easily explained why he was in his friend's room with only a robe to his name and he had accepted the story without question. 

_ Did Phichit even know he was lying to me? _

Then came shame and guilt. A lot of shame and guilt. He told his darkest secrets to someone he thought hated him. After the confession, his restraint snapped. His alpha nature had caused so many problems for others that he had denied his instincts and pushed down his alpha side for years and years. Some drink and the sweet smell of an omega had made all that work worthless. He grabbed his stomach as a wave of nausea hit him. 

_ What did I do to him? _

He snapped his rubber band. 

_ Don’t panic...Store it for later. Figure out how you feel.  _

Next was hope. A baby… Something he never thought would be possible. It was so far out of the realm of his reality he was having trouble grasping the idea. Thinking of the child made him feel protective. Maybe just a little excited. No matter how the new life came to be, he would be a father. 

_ A father! _

Surprisingly there was no anger, mostly it was just shock.  _ I’ll wait to hear the rest of the story until I decide if I am angry or not.  _

_ I’m sure this is my fault.  _

He snapped his rubber band.

_ I can’t be angry at him if this is my fault. _

Yuri sat down heavily, flopped his phone on the table, and spoke, distracting Yuuri from his thoughts. “Chris is coming to bring my suitcase ‘n shit. Where’s my food.” Yuuri gave a light sigh.  _ As hard as he’s trying to be nice he’s still as abrasive as ever. _

“It’s right here.” Yuuri placed a bowl of cold soup in front of him. 

“Kvass Okroshka with beef?” he asked raising his eyebrow. 

Yuuri shrugged back at him. “It’s easy to store and it keeps a while. I… umm...thought you could use a bit of home.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. He found a taste for the soup during his time in Russia. The meal was perfect for his demanding practice schedule and the nutritional needs of his body. He could make one big pot a week and have several easy meals on the go. 

Yuri graced him with a small smile and the light smell of contentment. It quickly turned into another scowl. “Where’s yours?”

“I still feel like I may throw up.” he said without meeting the other's eyes. “I thought it would be best…” Yuuri did have some rice with his anti-anxiety and antidepressant medication that morning. He had skipped his suppressants.

Yuri grunted in agreement. “Retching’s no fun.” 

They passed the meal in silence. 

Yuuri was washing the dishes when Chris knocked on the door. Yuri hopped up before he could move to open it. “I’ll go. He’s..umm...Whatever. I’ll see if he will stay for the next part of the story just in case I fuck it up.”

Settled back in the living room, with the addition of Chris, the story resumed. 

\---------------------

Milan, Italy, March 25, 2018

Chris was waiting for Yuri when he came out of the shower. He was in the room’s chair with his arms crossed and he smelled distinctly unhappy. “Start talking.” he demanded as soon as Yuri stepped out of the hotel bathroom.

“What did you tell Phichit?”

“I told him that Yuuri and I partied together to drown our sorrow. I also sented him a bit to confuse your smell. I can’t believe I sented  _ him  _ for  _ you.  _ Now, start talking.” Chris was clearly angry and Yuri didn’t want to make it worse. 

Yuri made an unhappy noise and flopped down on the bed.  _ If you’re going to go in, go balls deep.  _

“I needed him. I’ve always needed him. Since I… since forever… I love him” He trailed off uselessly. He didn’t really have more to add because that’s all it was. An aching burning need to be near Yuuri.

“That’s...umm….wow. I thought you hated him.” Chris furrowed his brow. “Has this been since you presented?” He unwound his arms and leaned forward. 

Yuri stopped and thought about it a moment. “Yea… Since then.”

“Ok. Start there.” 

“It was right after the onsen on ice. I knew that Victor and Yuuri were lost on each other but I still tried to get Victor to come home. I gave up after I saw how he reacted to Yuuri skate.” Yuri was lost in his thoughts. 

Victor had always acted as a surrogate brother to Yuri. Other than his grandfather, the other Russian skaters and their coach were the only family Yuri had known. It upset him when Victor gave up his glorious skating career and moved to Japan for Yuuri. Yuri followed Victor intent on forcing him home. It didn’t work.

“Anyway, I collapsed in the parking lot and went into heat. That was me presenting. Yuuko was there and she knew what was happening. She hid me in her house until the heat passed.”

“Did you take anything of Yuuri’s when you presented? Like a shirt or something?” 

“Yes.” Chris’ guess was surprisingly accurate. “His practice shirt. I saw it in the locker room before I left and I just had to fucking have it.” He was clearly leading Yuri somewhere. “After that, I went home. I told my Dedulya and he got me to the doctor for suppressants and junk. He made me feel better about being omega. He was one too. You know how scary it can be.” Yuri could feel the hitch in his throat. His beloved grandfather had passed away two years before. It still hurt to think about.

“Every time I saw Yuuri after that I had to steal his things. I just needed them. I would use them for my heat.” Yuri blushed. It was one thing to have Chris help him clean up after bad idea sex but telling him about how he liked to masturbate?  _ I hope this is over soon.  _ “But he was with Victor. I couldn’t get between that, it would be wrong. So I treated Yuuri like I hated him every time I saw him… I didn’t want him to know.”

Yuri pressed on quickly, wanting to end the discussion. “I tried to share my last heat with Otabek. I thought I could maybe… um… have a relationship with him, or some shit, after we fucked, to forget about Yuuri. It was fine till the week before my heat and he showed up to fuck, I couldn’t handle his smell. It felt wrong and I couldn’t even get close to him. He just wasn’t Yuuri. I think Otabek hates me now.”  _ So much regret. He was my first real friend. _

Chris’ lips were pursed and he was staring intently at Yuri. The annoyance was gone from his scent. Now, it almost smelled like pity. He guessed the rest of the story. “And when Katsuki was single again you saw your chance... which led us here.”

Yuri nodded and looked down, thankful that Chris was such a steady and understanding person. Omega always help omega, it was part of being omega but this was more. As an added bonus, he was a knowledgeable and experienced man. 

“I think you imprinted on him. It’s not  _ that  _ rare. Being surrounded by alpha right before you presented would have made it easy for you to imprint and Yuuri was the only real option. Takashi was mated to Yuuko,” Chris ticked them off on his fingers. “Mari is a beta, Katsuki’s father was mated and too old, and V...the other alpha was like a brother to you.”  _ Oh, I didn’t even think of that. There should be a manual for this shit.  _

“It’s treatable.” Chris continued. “Pheromone therapy. You don’t have to stay imprinted if you don’t want to.” 

“This isn’t a fucking joke. I love him. It’s  _ not  _ some trick of my body.”  _ Years of loving someone a trick of nature?  _ He screamed inside and out.  _ Hell. Fucking. No. _

Chris sighed heavily. “Katsuki Yuuri, the destroyer of lives, strikes again.” He muttered darkly to himself.

\---------------------

Quebec, Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The sound Yuuri’s rubber band snapping brought him out of his story. Yuuri was pale and looked like he might puke again. He smelled like shame and guilt.  _ That’s the part that upset him? Not the drunk fucking? _

“Were you a virgin?” Yuuri’s voice was thick and quiet. 

“It was mine to give? I wanted it anyway. How does that even fucking matter?” Yuri could smell Chris forcing a calming scent into the room.  _ I’m glad he’s quick on the uptake. _

Everyone in the room pointedly ignored the painful love confession. 

“ANYWAY,” Yuri pressed on with his story cutting off whatever Yuuri was about to say. “I knew… about the baby. I couldn’t drink orange juice and I fucking love orange juice. That and I was spewing everywhere. I just knew and…”  _ And panicked.  _ “So I went to Chris’ house. I was kinda upset but Chris helped. I don’t remember much after that.” He flopped his hands in a vague way hoping the others would understand what he was trying to get out.  _ Kinda upset? How am I so fucking lame... _

Then, Chris started in. “This is your fault. It always is. Do you even realize what you do to people?”

This enraged Yuri who swiftly came to Yuuri’s defense. “I understand that Victor’s your best friend but, fucks sake, give it a rest. He’s already explained what happened and it’s not really his fault.”

“You know nothing, child, nothing at all.” Chris’ voice was bitter and his scent changed from calming to dark hatred. 

“Will you tell me?” Yuuri shrank in on himself, defeated. Ready to hear the worst. 

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have to say, I was very scared when I first posted this work. My hands shook as I pressed the post button. I have never actually written a story before but I figured that posting it here couldn’t hurt. It is mostly for myself, just so I could say that I did. At least I would know how people reacted.  
> And…  
> You have made me feel amazing. Simple as that. Strangers who owe me nothing are reading my work and enjoying it. People are bookmarking and subscribing.  
> You make me feel fantastic.  
> I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback on the story. (Positive or negative… feedback is feedback as long as it is constructive)  
> So,  
> THANK YOU!  
> -lils  
> PS: If you see a misspelled word or other error, please let me know and I will fix it.  
> PPS: Kvass Okroshka is a traditional Russian cold soup filled with vegetables and meat -. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okroshka If you are interested.


	4. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So why does Chris seem to hate Yuuri so much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> Trigger warning: This chapter contains an extremely non-consensual situation that is somewhat like, but much worse than an unwanted and forced marriage. Emotional and psychosocial rape present. 
> 
> To avoid this skip everything after the guide entry.
> 
> If you wish to skip the chapter I will put a brief summary in the end notes.

\---------------------

_ On bonding: _

_ A mating bond is a physical link between an alpha and an omega with the express purpose of creating strongly linked parents and viable offspring.  _

_ The mate bonding gland is located to the right of the chest just under the collar bone. This is a separate gland from the one in the neck used for scenting. In ancient times, this placement made it easier to defend against others.  _

_ Bonding is forever. There is no second chance. Talk it through with your Alpha and make sure this decision is right for both of you.  _

_ When you are ready to be mated find a safe place to be alone with your chosen one. Once the bonding is completed you will go into heat. Before it starts, there will be enough time for you to make your mark on your mate. Once started, this heat will be more intense than a typical cycle. Make sure your alpha is ready to care for you.  _

_ Do not interrupt the mating bite once it has started. Your body is changing itself to fit your chosen alpha. The shock of not completing this process will most likely kill an omega. If an omega is unlucky enough to live through this, they can expect nerve damage, paralysis, mental retardation or coma. _

_ Do not bond with an alpha during pregnancy unless it is with the father of your child. A mating bite from the child’s father will strengthen and support the pregnancy. A bonding bite from a different alpha will result in spontaneous miscarriage.  _

_ A bonding during pregnancy will not result in a heat.  _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

***---------------***

Switzerland, February 28, 2018

After nearly 24 straight hours of traveling there was only one thing Eric had to do before Chris could collapse in bed and sleep off the Olympics. His task was to place the bronze medal in the display case. Chris was tracking his every move from the sofa where he lay lazily among the blankets and pillows. 

“Oh, my heart, I’m so proud of you. What a good way to end a career,” he said smiling. Chris hummed at the praise and laughed a little.

“It’s no gold. I guess I never will be on top,” he added a wink and a sly glance. Who could stand up to Victor? Or either Yuri? Winning a gold with those three in the division was laughable.

The competition was even more fierce now that the younger generation was moving into seniors. These children grew up behind the shadow of Victor instead of standing next to him in darkness. It was time to let them take control of the sport. A Bronze at the Olympics would have to be good enough.

Eric gave him an appraising look, dragging his eyes slowly along Chris’ body. “I think the bottom is the perfect place for you.” It was a promise for after they slept.

This earned a delighted laugh. He sighed then, his face suddenly serious.

“It’s over. Really, this time. I’ll go to worlds, but, after that?” Eric moved to the sofa and wrapped his arms around Chris drawing him into his lap. He could smell the sadness coming from Chris. It was rolling off of him in waves. “When did I get old?”

Eric pressed his hand to Chris’ chest where the mating mark would go. “You are not that old and there are other things to life.” Eric filled the space between them with his pheromones. Love and contentment oozed from every pore of his body. Chris’ mood lifted instantly and he purred softly.

“True,” he said. “I guess I just need a little time to mourn.” The stated smile on his face at odds with his words. 

They had decided to wait to bond. Chris didn’t use suppressants during the skating season and there was no need for birth control because his heat was still several months away. The intense sexual energy of an unsuppressed unmated omega was an advantage to his on ice persona. 

Eric smiled down at Chris. He was right, 28 is old for a figure skater. He had a good career but now it was time for their next adventure. They had already bought the building that would serve as Chris’ dance school. He would teach modern and pole dancing. Further in the future, as the school grew, they wanted to hire more teachers and offer different forms of dance. 

Chris turned into Eric’s chest, nuzzling the scent gland in his neck. This, Eric decided, was the definition of joy. Further down the line, they would have children. 30 years old may be old to figure skate but it was a great time to start a family. Eric drew Chris in closer to his chest and covered him with his contented scent. This is perfection.

They stayed curled up on the sofa together until they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Chris glanced at Eric and shrugged. They weren’t expecting anyone.

Chris sighed. “I’ll go.” It was probably someone from around town there to offer words of congratulations. Chris grumbled all the way to the door. Eric chuckled to himself as a few words like “Jet Lag” and “Tomorrow” drifted back to his ears.

Several loud bangs and a muffled curse quickly brought the alpha to the entryway. His instincts were on high alert, screaming at him to defend his mate. What he found destroyed him. Chris was sprawled on the entryway floor with his shirt ripped open. Tears were running down his temples.

Another alpha was leaning over his lover’s prone body, his face buried in Chris’ chest. Silky silver hair draped over the man’s face, obscuring the horror below. Eric’s mind refused to process what was happening. Every fiber of his being was rejecting what he saw.

“Victor.” Eric’s voice was ice. His alpha instincts screamed, ready to take over. It wanted to tear this man apart and defend his omega.

“No.” Chris’ voice was low and commanding. His tone made Eric freeze as their eyes met. They were deep pools of green tainted panic. “He… He started the b-bonding.” Chris’ voice broke and sobs fell freely from his lips. “You can’t.” Interrupting a bonding bite would kill the omega, or worse. 

“Eric.” The name left his body like a prayer. Fresh tears traced lines down his face. “I love y-you. I’m so….”

Eric cut him off with a gesture. “I love you, Christophe.” He said as warmly as he could. He was trying to transfer all the affection he had for the man into four words. 

His face fell as the reality of the situation hit him. “Don’t fight it.” His words felt dead. “That’ll only make it worse.” He couldn’t even cry. Their future was gone. Their beautiful brown haired, green eyed babies, gone. Their wedding, their home, their lives together. Gone. 

Gone with a single bite.

When it was over, Chris wouldn’t even love him anymore.

Dynamic nature is cruel. When the bond was complete, Chris would be completely focused on his new mate. Eric may well have never existed.

“Go,” Chris whispered. He wound his hands into the silver hair above him in a desperate attempt to will away reality. He was crying so hard he couldn’t form full sentences and he was still trying to fight the bonding. “I don’t… want…”

The meaning was clear enough to Eric Go before you see me lose myself in him. And he didn’t need to be told twice. Eric fled blindly into the night with the cries of “Alpha!” ringing in his ears. 

\---------------------

Chris turned his face away from Eric. Partly because he wanted to hide his shame and partly because it hurt too much to look at what he lost. He hoped that his lover understood what he was trying to say.  _ No, ex-lover _ . Chris looked at Victor crouched above him. This will be his new future. 

His heart broke again. 

He knew his body was reacting to the bite. He was babbling incoherently, screaming and crying nonsense. Every moment was drawn out into an eternity as he withdrew to the strange quiet of his mind. He was still trying to fight the bonding. For as long as he could, Chris desperately clung to thoughts of the man he loved. His mind sifted through the memories of Eric. Their first kiss. Moving into their home. A quiet night on the sofa holding each other. 

He could feel the bite changing him, altering his physiology to align perfectly with Victor’s. Lines of liquid fire ran down his arms and legs pulling him closer and closer to the Victor. It was becoming harder and harder to fight. 

Victor growled and bit down harder. This is a fight he would win. Chris was going to make him struggle as much as possible and it would be Chris’ choice to end the fight. He couldn’t stomach the thought of Victor overpowering him and somehow, giving in would be better than letting Victor take him. The last thought he had before he gave himself over to the haze of bonding was of petty revenge. Chris would never say the name Victor again. This was all he had.

His best friend was dead to him. Now, there was only Alpha.

Chris let himself go. He relaxed his body and gave into the bonding. A final wave of fire rolled down his limbs and settled into pleasure. Extreme pleasure. Just as intense as being knotted during heat. His body shook with the sensation. 

In that moment Alpha was laid bare to him. He could see everything that Alpha was. Every bit of joy and sorrow that made him who he was. Everyone knew the stories of what happens during bonding. It was described as becoming one being. The reality of it was so much… more. 

Chris’ crying changed then. He finally understood Alpha. His loneliness. The joy of finally being in love. The pressure to submit to another alpha. The shocking rejection.

Alpha drew back from the bite and neatly cleaned the wound with his tongue. He shifted off of Chris to rest heavily next to him. Both sets of eyes never left the livid bite mark on Chris’ chest. Alpha sighed heavily as if he were in pain. Several minutes passed in silence as each of them tried to come to terms with the situation. Victor looked like he had no intention of moving anytime soon. 

_ Great. I will have to be the one to make the next move.  _ Chris reached out and gently laid his hand on Alpha’s cheek. “What now?” Alpha jumped like he forgot Chris was there and looked around wildly. He looked everywhere but directly into Chris’ eyes. He noticed that Alpha had been crying just as hard. After a moment of panic Alpha’s eyes went back to the angry mark on the omega’s chest. 

“You have to do it to me too.” He whispered. His voice was thick with shame and tears.

Chris made a little noise of surprise.  _ Did I hear that correctly?  _ Of all the things that could happen next, he was not expecting a request for a two way bonding. 

“You want me to bite you back?” This needed clarification. Alpha nodded his bowed head and hummed in response.  _ Oh. ok. So, yea. _

Alpha unbuttoned his shirt with shaky hands. 

Chris took the time to steady himself.

He was expecting to be conquered and ruled. This may not be as bad as Chris originally thought. Most alpha who forced a bonding expected obedience. His instincts were making him love Alpha but he never thought they could have an equal relationship. Joy and disgust welled up inside him equally. Chris pushed down the disgust and embraced the joy. There was no point in making himself more miserable than he needed to be. If this was to be his future he would make the most of it. Forced or not, this was all he had now.

Alpha reached over and cupped the back of Chris’ neck, drawing him forward to his chest. 

_ Well, this is it.  _ Chris took a deep breath and bit down hard, instantly drawing blood. Alpha growled as he bit down harder. Chris shifted to crouch over him, to claim what was his.

Biting someone was much different than being bitten. Chris could understand why people throughout history refused a two way bonding in favor of doing this more than once. This was taking. Every selfish desire was there, given to the man below him. This was power. Everything could be his. 

Alpha submitted instantly. Where Chris struggled and fought against it, he only accepted. Another wave of understanding washed over Chris. Alpha needed this. He needed to submit to another.  _ Poor Alpha. What did Yuuri do to you? _

Chris’ bite did not take nearly as long as Alpha’s. Less than a minute. He felt Alpha relax under him and his mind started screaming.  _ Mine. Mine. Mate. Alpha. _

This was followed by an incredible wave of arousal. Seemingly out of nowhere, slick gushed out of him and rolled down his thighs. It was expected but still surprising. Sure, he’s had sex with Alpha before. This was something else entirely. Even the heats they shared as friends were not this intense. This was a primal urge that completely took over. Chris has never needed anyone’s knot this much. He was headed into a full blown heat and there was nothing he could do about it.

Chris was still sprawled across Alpha's chest. It was the perfect position for his hands to slide down his body and unbutton his pants. Alpha tensed at the contact and tried to push him away.

“Oh no, you son of a slut. You came to my home and took and took. Now, I’m going into heat because of you. I'm having your knot.” He was angry and consumed by lust.  _ Is everything going to be a struggle? _

Alpha relaxed again with a sigh. He turned his face away from Chris in shame but did not fight further. Chris gracelessly stripped them both and threw his leg over the other man. Alpha’s mind may not have been in the situation but at least his body was responding. 

_ That’s a shame. He was always such an attentive lover.  _ It was nothing like before. This was just taking. So Chris took. 

He lowered himself onto Alpha and took his full length in one quick thrust. His traitorous body was aching so much for a knot that he only needed a moment to adjust. 

Chris ground his hips down and down again, his toes curling from the pleasure of being filled. 

Alpha turned his face further away.

Chris closed his eyes, arched his back and lost himself in the feeling. 

Alpha’s orgasm took them both by surprise. He grunted quietly and clenched his fists. Other than that and a slight increase in breath, he gave no indication that he was painting Chris’ insides. Chris stilled and waited, panting, for the knot to swell. 

Chris tipped over the edge into his own orgasm as soon as he felt the knot stretch him and lock them together. 

Breathing heavily, Chris laid himself on Alpha’s chest, disregarding the sticky mess between them. It was going to take at least twenty minutes for the knot to go down so he settled himself in for the duration. 

Lazily he thought about what their children would look like. Would they have his green eyes? Blue eyes and dark hair? After a few minutes of this, his rational mind overrode his instincts.  _ Damnit. Alpha’s children. My heat’s not for months and I’m not on birth control. Shit!  _ There was nothing he could do about it now, he was in heat.

Lost in his own macabre thoughts Chris slowly traced the mark he made on Alpha’s chest with his finger. During the third round, he noticed another mark under the one he made. This wasn’t the first time Alpha was bitten in the same spot. Chris’ finger went from tracing his mark to tracing the older one. 

“It isn’t a real mark. It’s just a scar.” Alpha whispered. He was crying again, softly. “It doesn’t work between two alpha’s, even though he tried.” They waited for Alpha’s knot to deflate in uncomfortable silence. What could Chris even say to that?

When they could finally separate Chris slid himself off of him with a hiss. He could feel semen and slick rolling down his leg. He sighed again heavily.  _ In another lifetime I would have thought that was hot, the two of us mixed together.  _ Now, he just felt tired. Chris reached down to Alpha, coaxing him to stand.

“Come, Alpha, let’s get cleaned up and go to bed.” 

Chris led him to the guest room.

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Chris finally looked up at Yuuri again. He looked sick. Yuuri’s eyes were swollen with unshed tears. His breathing was ragged and he was repeatedly snapping himself with the rubber band he wore on his wrist.  _ Some kind of therapy?  _ Chris realized that Yuuri was barely controlling his panic.

“I’m so s-sorry.” He stammered. His voice was thick with emotion. The smell of shame and self-hatred rolled off of him. “I didn’t know… How could… just…. Why? Chris...”  _ At least he feels bad about it. Bastard. _

“He thought that if he had a mate you would let him in the pack. He’s broken.” Chris laid his hand along his abdomen. “I always thought he would be a good father but now, I’m not so sure.” His voice was small, lost in his own sorrow. 

Yuri let out a strangled whimper. Chris looked over at him. He was curled in on himself at the end of the sofa, shaking. Yuri was in distress… again. He glared at Yuuri. No proper omega would let another omega act like that without doing something to help. He moved over to the sofa and gathered Yuri man in his arms, filling the room with soothing pheromones. 

Chris shot another angry glare at Yuuri. “Calm yourself. You know he can’t handle it when you panic.” At least Yuri is easy to calm down. 

Several deep breaths of Chris’ soothing pheromones later, Yuuri was able to speak again. “It  _ is  _ my fault. Chris, I don’t even know what to say.” 

“There is nothing to say. You’ve done enough. Now that Yuri is calm again I’m leaving. Alpha doesn’t like it when I’m gone too long.” With a final frown in Yuuri’s direction, he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

\----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Have a beautiful day.
> 
> The next chapter should be a bit lighter.
> 
> If you skipped the chapter: Chris and Eric (Chris' boyfriend) are spending time at home. Victor shows up at Chris' house and forcibly bonds him. This is a lifelong commitment Chris did not choose. Chris now has no relationship with Eric because the bond is forcing Chris to be focused on Victor.  
> Victor's reasoning behind the forced bonding was that Yuuri would not allow hm to join the pack without having a mate and a two way bond. Chris was the first unmated omega Victor found. His behavior is directly related to Yuuri's rejection of Victor when he started submitting.  
> Also, through the heat caused after bonding Chris is pregnant with Victor's child.  
> \---  
> I am sorry if you keep getting updates for this chapter. I needed to update the trigger warning but, it should be ok now and the notifications should stop.  
> Thank you for your bearing with me.


	5. Pitter Patter and Panic Attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallout from Chris' story and a doctor's visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger warning for this chapter: Semi-graphic description of a panic attack though an outside perspective.****  
> It can be skipped. After the guide entry, skip everything between the two of these: ***---------------*** I will add a short summary in the endnotes.

\---------------------

_ On heats: _

_ You will go into heat twice a year. For several days leading up to your heat, you will experience symptoms of pre-heat. These symptoms include a decrease in appetite, an increase in thirst, cramps, bloating, mood swings, and the retention of water. These symptoms are typically worse in male omega.  _

_ If you are unable to start your heat right away, emergency heat delaying medication is available from your doctor. It is a good idea to keep some on hand. This medication can be used to delay your heat for a maximum of 5 days. _

_ A typical heat will last anywhere between 12 and 36 hours. During this time you will experience an insatiable need to orgasm. This one thought will consume you for the duration. This may be frightening at first but, it is natural and you will be more at ease as you grow older.  _

_ You can spend your heat alone or with an alpha. If you are mated, make sure your alpha is present when you go into heat, their lack of presence can cause emotional issues. Unfortunately, most omega will not tolerate the presence of a beta or another omega during heat. If you are not mated there will be no ill effects from spending your heat alone.  _

_ If you choose to spend your heat with someone it can be as friends or lovers. This is your choice. Please remember that communication and trust are key to a successful heat.  _

_ Sharing your heat with an alpha is a pleasurable experience. Regular knotting during this time will shorten the total heat time and will leave you feeling more satisfied afterward. If you are alone, it may be comforting to have an item covered in an alpha’s scent. _

_ After your heat, you will be tired, sore, and dehydrated. If you are alone for your heat, have someone you trust check on you when it is finished. If you share your heat, your chosen alpha’s instincts will take over and they will care for you during this time.  _

_ A heat has one goal: to procreate. Without birth control, you have a 96% chance of pregnancy. Outside of heat the chances of conception are less than 0.001%. Thankfully, a prescription for birth control is easily available from your doctor. Your body is built for pregnancy but this does not mean you must have children. It is your choice. _

_ Pregnancy can occur outside of heat. This is extremely rare and will only happen in certain situations:  _

_ One, the omega has imprinted on the alpha and this is their first sexual encounter.  _

_ Two, there is a deep emotional connection between the alpha and the omega or the omega has a deep psychological need for a child. _

_ Three, being knotted by an unusually powerful alpha.  _

_ During these sexual encounters, heat-like symptoms and behaviors will occur.  _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

***---------------***

Quebec, Canada, Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Yuuri was crying before Chris made it out the door. It was not the same loud ugly cry as Yuri but a great outpouring of liquid interlaced with quiet gasps. The steady sound of a rubber band snapping was the only accompaniment. 

_ Shit. SHIT. He’s panicking again and it’s going to be bad.  _

There were so many emotions flowing through his scent that Yuri could not sort them out. 

_ What do I DO?  _

“Pills...on...counter.” he gasped out. His body shook and his face was pale through a thin sheen of sweat. 

_ Pills on the counter. I can do that.  _

Glad for a task, Yuri rushed to the kitchen. There was a box with many different containers and packets of pills.  _ Fuck, which one?  _ Yuri was close to losing it himself. He knew that a pregnant omega would react strongly to the father’s moods but he wasn’t expecting it to be this strong. He could smell and feel every bit of panic from Yuuri.  _ Don’t give in.  _ He smacked the flat of his hand on the counter to ground himself.  _ Focus! _

Rolling nausea hit him like a sucker punch.  _ It’s a bad fucking time, baby!  _ He made it as far as the kitchen trashcan before emptying his stomach.  _ Settle down! I need to help your daddy.  _

The sour taste in his mouth was forgotten as he took the whole box of pills and ran back to the living room. Yuuri was doing even worse when he got back. He had his head between his knees and was gasping without really taking a full breath. His dark hair was sticking out in all directions and he was sweating harder.

Yuri tipped the box over onto the sofa next to Yuuri. “What one?” he shouted, panic coming out as anger. 

“Clon...packet...foil.” Yuri plunged his hand into the pile of bottles and resurfaced with a foil card of pills.

“Is this it? Clonazepam?” He stumbled a bit on the unfamiliar word. Yuuri nodded and tried to reach for the packet. “I’ll do it.” Yuri snapped. It took several agonizing moments for his shaking hands to peel back the foil. When the pill was finally freed he placed it in Yuuri’s hand. 

He pushed the pill bottles off the sofa and sat down close to Yuuri.  _ I can use my scent to calm him.  _ Yuri had never been good at this. His grandfather taught him how to manipulate his pheromones to influence others but he never practiced. Skating had always been more important. 

_ Now, just like Dedulya said. Think about how you want to feel. Think about how you feel when you are calm. Visualize it as a cloud of calm around yourself and reach out to the other person.  _ Yuri slowed his breathing as he focused on what his grandfather taught him.  _ I should have paid better attention.  _

_ Dedulya! Help me!  _ He thought about the night his grandfather first told him about this technique. They took turns trying to make each other hungry and then gorged on ice cream. It had been delightful for his 15 year old self to see his grandfather lose control over a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough. 

Through his tears, Yuri saw Yuuri sit up. He was still clutching his chest but he seemed able to draw breath.  _ Oh, thank you Dedulya! _

Yuri pushed closer to him, almost on his lap again.  _ It’s almost over. I’ve almost won.  _ He pushed his scent harder. This time he used the memory of that morning, waking up together and how wonderful it felt. 

Yuuri had color back in his cheeks and he was no longer clutching his chest but he was still very upset.  _ Almost. Maybe if I physically scent him.  _

He crawled onto Yuuri’s lap yet again and forced his face into his neck. He thought about the beautiful protected sleepy feeling he had earlier that day.

“Don’t put me to sleep,” Yuuri whispered into his skin.

“I think it might be best,” he replied and pushed harder. 

***---------------***

Some hours later Yuri woke to Yuuri playing with his hair.  _ Oh, that’s nice.  _ He leaned into the gentle caresses.  _ Shit, don’t purr. Don’t. _

He purred.

_ Damnit. _

Yuuri gave a low chuckle that changed into a grunt. “Was it bad? I don’t really remember.” His voice was hoarse and he sounded like he was in pain. 

“Yes.” There wasn’t much else to say about it. Yuuri was still half asleep and smelled of pain and guilt. Not wanting to set him off again, Yuri added: “Why don’t we just go to bed?” 

Yuuri sighed

He snapped his rubber band.

“We do need to talk...about… us and...um... stuff…” Yuuri trailed off, not wanting to relapse.

Yuri pushed more of his calm scent into the space between them.

“I’m hungry again.” He pushed back and stood up. He kicked pill bottles out of his way as he stomped into the kitchen. Yuuri slowly trailed after him with a pill bottle in his hand. 

“You have to eat something too.” Yuri was not going to let it go this time. He had gone a full day without eating. 

“Yea, fine. Protein bar.” He ate most of it and took the medicine he brought. His soft brown eyes were lidded and his movements were sluggish.

“Now, sleep.” He pushed Yuuri into the bathroom and forced him to get ready for bed. Then he guided him to the bed and pushed out his calming pheromones again while he thought hard about sleep. 

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, Thursday, May 24, 2018

“So… We need to talk about us.” Yuri led. 

They were at the kitchen table. Showers were finished, hair was brushed, trash was out, meds were picked up, pills were taken, and breakfast was eaten. Yuuri was almost ready to face the day. 

Until he thought about Victor.

He snapped his rubber band. 

“I said us, not… other things.” Yuri scowled. 

Yuuri took a deep breath.  _ I can do this. _

“Ok. What?” 

“Well, first is first. I’m not having an abortion.” This was said with as much conviction as could go in a simple statement. It was accompanied by crossed arms and yet another scowl. 

Yuuri could feel his shock reflected on his face. “I would never ask that,” he said quietly.

“Good because it’s not fucking happening.”  _ So fierce this morning. I must have really scared him. Damn.  _ He felt dark emotions wash over him again ready to take him into the abyss. 

_ Don’t think about it _

He snapped his rubber band. 

Yuri scowled again.  _ Does he make any other expression?  _ Yuuri could smell the younger man’s calming scent fill the air. 

He took a deep breath. “Thank you.” 

Yuri nodded and slightly softened his scowl. “You clearly can’t be here alone so, I’m staying.” This was delivered as an order.  _ It’s so hard to argue with him. _

“Yea...You can stay here if you want. Or I’ll get you an apartment in the building. Whatever is best for you.” He felt his alpha instincts kicking in. He created a life. His child. He would provide.

“I said I’m staying. Here.” Yuri pointed at the floor. Another command.

“Oh...ok...well...I could clean out the guest room for you?” Yuri blinked at him like he was stupid.  _ I know where this is headed.  _ He could feel the building storm. “Well, ah… we could talk about it later because….um...imprinting…” He bowed his head and mumbled the last word.  _ That’s my fault too. _

The storm broke.

“Hell. Fucking. No.” He screeched. “We already decided that my feelings were NOT your fucking fault. My feelings are MY feelings and MY feelings are valid.” He was read in the face and waving his arms maniacally.  _ He’s kinda scary when he’s angry!  _ Yuuri put his hands up in surrender and took a step backward but, Yuri was not finished. “Almost three years. Three fucking years.” He slammed his hand down on the table at each word in emphasis. “Don’t say I don’t know what love is.” The last sentence was an accusation. His chest was heaving and his eyes were wide with anger. 

“Ok… um… I understand… um...Let’s just talk about it later ok?” 

_ Aren’t love confessions supposed to be cute and sweet?  _

_ Well..this is Yuri... _

In that moment, Yuri realized that he had, in fact, confessed his love. His green eyes shifted from anger to shock and his blush changed to embarrassment. “Fine. FINE. Fuck you. When’s my appointment?” He plowed through to the next subject in avoidance. 

Yuuri was relieved by the choice.  _ I don’t want to talk about anything that heavy right now.  _ Yuri was still sending off comforting and loving pheromones. Surrounded by this scent Yuuri was able to keep himself from falling into his dark thoughts. 

“We should leave in about 20 minutes. The office isn’t far.” He pointed to the left indicating the doctor's direction. “After your appointment, I have one with my...ahh...it’s important. Then later I have to go see Jean and his parents.”  _ If he’s staying here I’ll have to go off my suppressants. It will cause problems.  _

“Ok. I hope that appointment’s with your therapist.” The scowl was back again. Yuuri just nodded. 

“One more thing… um… before our appointment.” Yuri looked away. There was a slight undertone of fear in his scent. “My due date, I looked it up online and you should know. It’s...ugh... Shit...It’s Christmas.” 

_ Victor’s birthday. _

The time before they left was spent practicing breathing exercises and pheromone control. 

\---------------------

The obstetrician was a quiet beta woman and Yuuri like her immediately. Yuri did not. She was middle aged with soft brown hair and blue eyes that sparkled with joy. 

When she entered they were speaking softly in Russian and she hesitated at the door. 

“Hello?” she ventured in English through a rough French accent.

Yuuri smiled politely at her, understanding why she hesitated. “We both speak enough French to get by.” He replied in that language. 

She visibly relaxed and held out her hand. “I’m Dr. Ouellet, welcome to my office. I hear we are going to be parents.” A smile spread across her face. 

“So fucking happy it’s blinding me,” Yuri remarked in Russian. Yuuri snorted. Dr. Ouellet glanced at Yuri and her smile slipped a little.

“Don’t mind him, he’s  _ cranky.  _ ” Yuuri reached over and patted his arm patronizingly. He gave Dr. Ouellet a thin smile. 

“Oh, is this a symptom?” Her smile was back in full force. 

Yuuri sighed. “No.” Her eyebrows disappeared under her bangs.

“I  _ can  _ hear you.” Yuri scowled again.  _ No, don’t Yuri. She’s the only dynamic obstetrician in 100 kilometers.  _

“Anyway, a little about me.” She addressed Yuuri, thinking it was the safer option. “I have been an obstetrician for 22 years. I’ve had my practice here, in this office, the whole time. Over the years I have treated almost 50 male omega.” Her smile shifted to actual joy as it moved into her eyes. “I just love newborns. So full of hope.” Then she cleared her throat and fidgeted with the chart. Her introduction was over. 

“So, from your chart, it looks like you should be about 7 and a half weeks along.” She glanced at Yuri and was relieved to find that he was not scowling anymore. “That would put your due date…”

Yuri cut her off. “Christmas. Yea, we know.” Both of them scowled this time. 

_ Focus on what’s in front of you. _

He snapped his rubber band.

He could feel Yuri reach out with his scent again.

“Ok...sooo...I don’t need to do an ultrasound yet. We don’t usually do that until 10 weeks. Have you been having any problems? Morning sickness? Weight loss? Cramps or pain?” Yuri nodded at morning sickness. “That’s usual. It should ease up in a few weeks. Just let me know if it gets worse.” She paused to take a breath.

“You said you haven’t lost weight? Did you gain any?” Her brow furrowed. 

“Yea, about a kilo.” her eyebrows withdrew under her hair again.  _ Where do they go?  _ She glanced at Yuuri asking for an explanation. 

He shrugged. “We are professional athletes… He’s just stopped working out. It would have happened anyway.”

Beside him, Yuri snorted. “The Chee-z-puffs aren’t helping either.” 

Dr. Ouellet chuckled at that. “That’s normal too. Just go with it. It’s your body saying you need something in the food.” he scowled again but she just kept going. “I’ll give you an info sheet on appropriate exercises during pregnancy.” She made a note on the chart. “Have you stopped taking your suppressants?” both men nodded. “Good. Birth control?” 

“My heat wasn’t supposed to be until this week so, no.” Her eyebrows disappeared. 

“Conceiving outside of heat is extremely rare. I’d like to look into it if you don’t mind.” Both nodded at her again. She looked pleased to have a medical mystery on her hands. 

“Ok. I think I may be able to find a heartbeat. Would you like me to try?” Yuri’s eyes widened at that and he shook his head vigorously. Dr. Ouellet chuckled again. “I’ll take that as a yes. Up with your shirt.” She moved to get the doppler wand and gell. “It will be cold.” Yuri shuddered at the contact but kept completely still. “Don’t feel bad if I don’t find it. It’s early.” She slid the wand along his abdomen. “Should be right around...yep.” She leaned over to the machine and turned it up. 

The beautifully swift pitter patter of the child’s heart filled the room. “It sounds perfect. Your baby is strong.” She smiled to herself. “Daddy, if you want to hold the wand you can listen until I get back. I need to get you a few things.” 

Thankful for her swift retreat, he looked down into Yuri’s eyes. His cheeks were wet and his face could not contain his joy. His scent was full of amazement and wonder. 

_ That’s my baby. We are actually going to have a baby. I am really going to be a father. This is actually real.  _

_ It’s overwhelming. _

Yuuri could not talk.

Neither could Yuri.

After several minutes of staring at each other with the sound of a heartbeat filling the room, Dr. Ouellet was back. “I can let you hear it during every visit.” She offered like she knew how it was affecting them. “I have vitamins for you, just follow the label, and the exercise sheet. That’s it. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

Their stupid, silly, joyful smiles stayed in place all the way back to the apartment, their problems, for once, forgotten.

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped the beginning: Yuuri had a panic attack and Yuri soothed him with a pheromone control technique like his grandfather taught him. Then he forced Yuuri to fall asleep.  
> The baby is 7 and a half weeks but they had sex 8 and a half weeks ago. Conception is 5 to 7 days after intercourse. The due date is calculated from conception.  
> Yuri’s due date was not on purpose. It just happened to fall like that. But well, it worked for the story so I kept it. Chris' due date is also coincidence.  
> Thank you for reading.  
> Have a beautiful day.


	6. JJ Was Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, wrong.

\---------------------

_ On scent _

_ A dynamics scent can act in many ways. It can be a greeting, a catalyst for relationships, give comfort, and indicate emotions to others.  _

_ There are two types of scenting.  _

_ A formal scenting is done with the gland at the inside of the left wrist. This is the type of greeting used between acquaintances and when meeting strangers. It is viewed like a handshake and the same social implications apply.  _

_ An intimate scenting uses the gland located to the right of the neck. This is reserved for close friends, lovers, and family. You are probably already familiar with this type of scenting. It is often used by parents and other caregivers to soothe children.  _

_ It is considered extremely rude to touch someone in either area without first being invited to do so.  _

_ A pregnant omega will be extra sensitive to the scent of their alpha. Often they will follow scent cues and mirror the mood of their partner.  _

_ Omega have the special ability to directly influence others with their scent. This technique can be extremely useful in the medical and child care field. Alpha have the Voice. This is the ability to give commands to others and have them obeyed without question.  _

_ There are some ethical issues that arise from relying too strongly on either of these to influence others. Please keep in mind the implications of your actions and how you would feel if it was used against you.  _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, Thursday, May 24, 2018

Yuuri’s therapist appointment was exhausting and emotionally draining. During the time, he told his doctor the story of what happened. He did not include his thoughts or feelings, just simple statements of fact. He managed to not have a panic attack during the visit.

He took a few moments to center himself before he opened his apartment door. He just made it to the kitchen before he encountered a very agitated Yuri.

“Low impact aerobics,” his tone was scathing. “The hell even is a low impact aerobic? Oh, I’m allowed to ride a  _ stationary  _ bike but my heart rate is not supposed to go above 140. 140! And I’m limited to 2 hours a day!” The stench of anger and frustration invaded his senses.

“Yuri, please, not right now,” he replied weakly. 

“Are you even listening? What am I supposed to fucking  _ do _ ?” He was now waving the information packet in Yuuri’s face. 

“I said not now.”  _ I can  _ not  _ deal with this.  _ Yuri was breathing hard and his face was red with anger. His long hair was a tangled halo around his head. 

“She’s wrong. She’s fucking wrong. You need to go tell her she’s fucking wrong!” he insisted. 

Yuuri sighed. 

He skirted around Yuri and backed toward the bedroom. Yuri was still screaming at him. When Yuuri was close enough to the other room, he ran for it and locked himself in. 

A screech and a shaking impact followed him accompanied by a shouted: “Fuck you!”

Yuuri sighed.

_ I feel sorry for the neighbors. I hope they don’t complain.  _

\---------------------

He got three hours of much-needed sleep.  _ My bed is starting to smell like him. I didn’t realize I liked peaches so much.  _ He wasn’t unhappy about it. 

When he woke up, he had a shower and applied his masking products. This was an annoying and meticulous process. Every inch of his skin needed to be covered with the masking lotion. Then, he had a special cream for his scent glands. Later that night he was going to spend time in a room full of alpha. Without his suppressants, he could not risk affecting the others. 

He dressed in yet another tracksuit. This one was a deep wine color that accented the flecks in his eyes. 

_ Glasses, watch, wallet, cell phone, keys… ok. Gods help me. Is there one specific to dealing with angry pregnant blondes? _

He took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Yuri was sitting on the sofa in the main room. His green eyes were narrowed in anger and he tracked every one of Yuuri’s movements. 

Yuuri stopped to talk to Yuri but was sure to leave himself enough room to make a quick escape, just in case. He knew from experience that Yuri in this mood was extremely unpredictable and prone to violent outbursts. 

“I’m going to dinner with Jean and his family.” he started. “I have to tell them that I’m off my suppressants. They’ll know why.” There was no response. “Do you want to go?” he asked hopefully.

Silence.

“Right, I’ll take that as a no…They will ask questions. Do you want me to tell them it’s you?”

Yuri shook his head slowly, once.

“Ok then… I’ll...just... be back later.”  _ That could have been worse. Maybe there is a God for dealing with angry pregnant blondes. I’ll have to ask Kaasan to throw a coin for me.  _

\---------------------

Dinner in the Leroy household was always a grand affair. They were the embodiment of the French part of French Canadian. The food was rich, the conversation loud, and the greetings handsy. 

Nathalie was a wonderful woman and omega. She was small, full of unshakeable pride and gentle caring for her charges. When Yuuri moved to her rink, he was adopted without question. For all of that, she was, by no means, a quiet woman. He submitted to her hugging, pinching, and kissing without complaint. It was easier to do with her because he knew she genuinely cared. 

Alan was next. He was the embodiment of alpha, even more so than Jean but, mercifully, without the arrogance. He carried himself with unfailing self-confidence. His greeting consisted of a tight hug and many slaps on the back. Yuuri just suffered through in silence. 

As soon as he was released from that hug, he was attacked by their youngest. “She took me on a date!” she screeched, throwing her arms around his middle. Olivia was 16 and cute as a button. Except for her long dark hair, she was a tiny, hyper replica of her mother, down to the happy green eyes. She presented as alpha the same week her childhood crush presented as omega.

“Oh, that’s...um...ok” Yuuri wasn’t going to commit to anything until he knew how her parents felt about it. By the sparkle in her mother’s eye, they approved. 

The rest of the family was, thankfully, more restrained. Isabella approached him quietly and kissed him on each cheek. “It’s nice to see you.” She whispered at him. Then, she presented her son for inspection. Jeremy-Julien was a sturdy boy of 21 months and already a carbon copy of Jean.  _ Of course he would call his son JJ.  _ The likeness ran strong in this family. All the men were tall with dark hair and blue eyes, like cookies from the same mold. 

“Oh, I see Jer has a new tooth. What a big boy.” After a proper amount of adoration for the child, he looked over at Jean and his brother. Both men just nodded politely, knowing how Yuuri felt about hugs. 

Felix was the most reserved Leroy. He was an 18 year old alpha who dropped figure skating before he made his senior debut. He was tired of being compared to Jean. He was an assistant coach to his parents with the hopes of continuing their legacy. Coaching Olympians from the start of his career was almost as good as being one himself. 

The entire family smelled of ginger and love. 

After surviving the gauntlet, Yuuri moved with the rest of the family into the dining room. He timed his arrival to successfully to avoid the period of uncomfortable small talk that was usually present before a meal. 

Once seated, served, and eating, Nathalie started The Conversation. “So, you said you had something to tell us. Out with it.” No one could ever accuse her of being indirect.

He took a deep breath.  _ Be honest without giving too much information.  _ “I have to go off my suppressants… for about a year...” 

Alan reached over and tapped his hand. “There’s only one reason for that. Congratulations son.” 

At the same time, Nathalie started squealing “A baby! A baby! A baby!” and clapping her hands. 

Their reaction was heartwarming and what was said next caught him completely off guard. 

“Hey, congratulations. Who’s the father?” Six sets of surprised eyes instantly shifted to Jean.

Five sets of surprised eyes then shifted to Yuuri, whose mouth fell open in shock. 

Silence filled the room. 

It started with Felix. He gave a low grunt that turned into a soft chuckle. It grew as it spread around the table until everyone was infected with an overactive guffaw complete with table slapping and tears. Isabella politely hid her giggles behind her hand. Yuuri’s face, of course, turned a lovely shade of purple.

Jean blinked around himself in confusion. Yuuri uncomfortably cleared his throat.

“I am?”  _ How could he not have known that? _

“What...I thought... Wait… What?”

More laughter from around the table. 

“Oh Jean, you are cute but sometimes, you’re just  _ so  _ thick.” Nathalie was still laughing at him. She went in for the kill. “You really thought  _ he  _ was omega the whole time? You trained together for almost a year in Detroit. You’ve been friends how long?” She gave up then, breaking into fits of giggles. He looked into his lap, suitably chastised and embarrassed. 

Jeremy’s joyful shout of “Papa was bad!” did not help. 

“So who is the lucky omega?” Isabella cut across her husband to give him time to recover.

“Mmm... I’m… ah… not ready to say… yet.” Yuuri looked into his lap too. 

This was received with eye rolling and quiet huffs. “Humph...I know how that goes. I’m sure you’ll tell us when you are ready.” Jean’s father said calmly. For now, the discussion was over.

The rest of the meal passed quickly as two of the party were clearly uncomfortable. 

Yuuri quickly said goodbye and made it through the familial mauling again. He was almost out the door when Jean stopped him. 

“Let me scent you.” 

Yuuri’s stomach soured, ruining the excellent meal he just had. “No.” He turned to leave again.

Jean roughly grabbed his arm “Let me scent you.” This time it was his Voice.  _ Does he expect that to work on me? _

“There’s a reason I haven’t offered.” Jean just stared at him expectantly. 

“You’re not going to let this go are you?”  _ Damnit, I don’t want this to happen again.  _ He felt his dark thoughts slowly creeping back. Jean was not one to give up on something once he set his mind to it.

He snapped his rubber band. 

“No, I’m really not,  _ Alpha  _ .” It was said in a teasing tone but the words shot through Yuuri.  _ He really needs to not call me that. _

Yuuri shuddered and sighed.

“Fine,” he said darkly, giving up. “Just don’t  _ try  _ to use the Voice on me again... and remember, anything after this is your fault.” He took off his watch and offered Jean his arm. He held Yuuri in place and took a deep breath. 

The mocking tone was gone as he whispered: “Oh, well...fuck.” He took two steps backward and fell down. The look on his face was one of pure shock. “I’m s-sorry,” 

“Damnit, if I wanted you to act like that I would have done this weeks ago.” Yuuri snapped at him.  _ I’ve got to get out of here.  _ For the second time that day, he bolted through the nearest door.

\---------------------

The apartment was quiet when he got home. A light was on in the kitchen and Yuri was nowhere to be found. His absence was as worrisome as him waiting angrily at the door. 

He found Yuri asleep in his bed. He was laying on his stomach and had his face smashed into Yuuri’s pillow. On the near side of the bed, the corner of the comforter was turned down in invitation. 

In the bathroom, Yuuri found a pair of pajama pants set on the counter in tacit apology. 

_ I’ll have Kaasan throw two coins. _

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaasan is what Yuuri calls his mom. 
> 
> Jeremy-Julien Leroy, born Aug 9, 2016
> 
> So, when I was doing research on names I found out that JJ’s name translates to John-Jacob (Jingleheimer-Schmitt)... you are welcome.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and have a beautiful day.  
> <3


	7. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two men are settling into the apartment together.

\---------------------

_ On the World Dynamic Protection Group: _

_ The World Dynamic Protection Group, commonly known as WDPG, is a worldwide organization that provides support and protection to all dynamics. _

_ All dynamic medical research and education is provided through the group. Doctors earn their degree and specialization then attend dynamic specific classes. A list of doctors in your area is available through their website. _

_ All suppressants, birth control, masking soaps and lotions, and other dynamic specific products are produced and sold by the WDPG. These will be available in your doctor’s office. _

_ Specialized communities are provided for and governed by the WDPG for any dynamic who wishes to live there, for whatever reason. These communities will shelter pregnant male omega who do not wish to make their pregnancy known to the public. _

_ Most of all, this organization is a worldwide network of support for all dynamics. Information and help with any dynamic specific situation can be found on their website or in one of the many branch offices. _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, May 29, 2018

It had been a week since Yuri’s story was finished. In that time they had reached a tense level of domesticity. The two men were getting used to each other’s presence and daily routines started to form. Only four panic attacks and three temper tantrums marred the relative quiet of their home. The neighbors had not yet complained.

While not ideal, this arrangement was starting to work in their favor.

Yuuri had successfully avoided all Leroys save Nathalie, who supervised his aggressive on ice training sessions. He added an extra session with his therapist and the appointment left him unable to do more than wander home and collapse into sleep. Departing for ballet class was, by far, the worst experience. Dark murmurs of “unfair” would follow him through the door.

As long as he kept himself busy he wouldn’t panic. Yuri helped with this a great deal.

Yuuri moved Yuri’s suitcase and accidentally found a framed picture of his grandfather. Rather than hide it away again, he placed it on the end table. Orange juice was banned and a stray golden hair lay in the bathroom sink. The boxes littering the main room were either unpacked or banished, to the guest room.

Yuri started to relax around the house and a well read paperback book appeared on the sofa. A silent battle was fought and the fragile young girl on the cover was in danger of becoming collateral damage. It would be found face down and open under the blanket, marked with a post-it note, closed, and moved to the coffee table, only to be found again hiding under a pillow.

Meanwhile, the bookshelf became a small menagerie of glass cast felines with a tiny pink piglet nestled in the center. It was still unclear if the larger cats were stalking or guarding the dear unsuspecting swine. Yuuri smiled when he saw it and made no comment.

After a disastrous night full of fire, tears, and Chinese take out, Yuuri dedicated himself to their every cooking need. He had taken to preparing proper meals instead of relying on protein bars and cold soup. Yuri angrily decided that if he couldn’t cook, he would keep the kitchen clean. “I can smell that shit all the way in the other room and I’m not having it.” was his gently spoken reasoning.

Seemingly through the miracle of mitosis, personal items grew. Two phone chargers, two coffee mugs, two toothbrushes. The calm blue laundry hamper found a violent orange mate. An overwhelming amount of pillows and stuffed animals migrated to the bed. Each evening they were unceremoniously dumped on the ground only to be lovingly picked up in the morning and arranged on the newly made bed.

Yuri had installed himself in that bed. No amount of sighing or passive aggressive mentions of the guest room would move him. On the fourth night, Yuuri gave in to his own desires and shared his comforter. On the fifth night, he gave up keeping a respectful distance between them and held Yuri in his arms.

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, May 30, 2018

During lunch, Yuri picked up his phone and nonchalantly pressed the reject button for the fourth time. Yakov was being aggressively ignored.

“You are going to have to talk to him eventually.” Yuuri said chidingly. “I realize he is your coach first but he thinks of you as a son.” Yuri moved to train with Yakov when he was ten years old. When his grandfather became ill, custody was also transferred.

“You haven’t called your mom.” came the snarky reply.

“I didn’t flee the country without a word.”

“No, you told them where you were going.”

Yuuri sighed. “He’s probably just worried about you. This isn’t the first time you’ve disappeared on him. Just talk to him.”

Yuri scowled.

Yuuri pressed on. “You are going to have to tell him you are taking the season off anyway. You don’t have to tell him why.” There was paperwork to fill out and statements to issue. The sooner this was finished the better. Preferably before he started to show.

“Fine.” The fifth consecutive call started.

Yuri rolled his eyes and answered the phone. Yakov was already screaming when the call connected. Yuri winced and shuffled into the other room.

Yakov was a gruff man, prone to shouting down anything that was not his idea. He was also a good man who truly cared for his charges. In Russia, it was tradition to separate children with potential from their parents and send them to a school like Yakov’s. His on-again-off-again wife taught ballet as a counterpoint to his coaching. Over the years, he and Lilla had opened their home to many of these children and served as parents the best they could. Sadly, they were getting on in years and Yuri was one of their youngest.

Yuri shuffled back as Yuuri was clearing the table.

“He’s not happy but he’ll do the press statement for me.” Yuri looked relieved.

“See, it wasn’t that bad.” He received a dramatic eye roll in response. “I’m going to be late tonight. I’ll pick up dinner on the way.” The older man had a session of ballet then off ice cardio scheduled for the evening.

“I guess I’ll just sit here and read.” Yuri was still salty about ballet. Ever since his growth spurt at sixteen, he fought to keep his trademark Biellmann spin. He was able to, but it was a battle and now he could feel his flexibility slowly draining away.

“Yea...ok… I’ll just go then.” Yuuri had learned earlier in the week that suggesting Yoga was not a good idea.

\---------------------

After a quick dinner of Thai food “so spicy I feel it in the morning” the two men went to bed early. Yuuri had not spared himself during his cardio conditioning. He relied on exhausting himself during practice to function the rest of the time.

They were snuggled in together with Yuri’s head pillowed on Yuuri’s chest. He had already formed the habit of stroking Yuri’s golden hair. He may as well take advantage of the situation. Yuri's hair was soft like silk and filled the room with the smell of sweet peaches. If Yuuri would let himself, he would really enjoy these moments.

“Why don’t you take some classes at the local college?”

Yuri scoffed. “What good would that do?”

“Well... even if you skate until you’re thirty you’ll have to figure out something after. You could get a head start… I mean, you do have to take the season off…” Yuuri had thought about his argument all afternoon. He also knew he would need to tread lightly so he didn’t set Yuri off.

“It would give you something to do.” Yuri made an unsure noise in his throat at that. “You could meet people in the area…” Another scoff.

“They’d have a field day with a pregnant man running around.” Male omega were rare enough that it would cause a stir, even within a dynamic community. Luckily, Yuuri had prepared for this too.

“You won’t show that much the first semester and then you could take online classes. Just because you don’t see them face to face doesn’t mean you can’t make friends.”

The noise Yuri made this time was a little less unsure. Yuuri was encouraged and continued.

“You could take one or two classes. Summer term’ll start in a few weeks.” Yuuri had spent is break researching and already had several suggestions for Yuri’s first semester. “You finished high school at sixteen. You can do this too.”

He could feel the scowl on his chest. “I’ll think about it.”

They lay there quietly for a while and Yuuri thought Yuri had drifted off until he started rubbing circles on Yuuri’s stomach. Yuuri gave no reaction, unsure what would come next. This was something new.

The circles became wider and strayed to his hips and chest. He was going to let it continue until he felt Yuri’s full hard length rub against his hip. He grabbed Yuri’s arm and shifted his body away.

“You should go take care of that,” he said mildly. “It may start to hurt.” He gave Yuri space in his life and in his bed. But sex? As much as he wanted to, he wasn’t ready.

Yuri gave an exaggerated grunt of discontent and flopped over on his other side. After that, they went to sleep.

\---------------------

June 2

They had a relatively nice day. Yuuri only had a half day of training so they spent the afternoon shopping and then puttering around the house. Yuri didn’t bring much with him from Russia and he was tired of re-washing the same three pairs of pants.

Over that past few days, Yuri made several attempts to be intimate with Yuuri. Each time, Yuuri ignored him or fled.  _ He came on strong enough when he was trashed. What's holding him back now?  _ Weighing his options, he decided a direct approach would probably be best.

The nightly act of having his hair pet evolved into a full ritual complete with one hundred strokes of a soft brush and gentle fingers braiding back the locks. This is where Yuri decided to start his conversation.

“Ok. Why won’t you fuck me?” It was a brutal lead up to a conversation.  _ Damnit, I could have said that better. _

The brush stopped and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“You imprinted. It would be wrong.” the brush started again.

Yuri sighed and leaned back. He was sitting between Yuuri’s legs and was hyper aware of every light touch from those muscular thighs.  _ Doesn’t he understand I’m in love with him? _

“How does that even matter?” He could already feel himself losing the argument.

“It matters because I can’t tell where you end and nature begins.” Guilt and shame entered his scent.  _ Fuck, he’s getting upset again.  _ “I can’t tell if this is what you really want.”  _ Why can’t he just give it a rest? _

Yuri turned around, knelt on the floor, and looked directly into Yuuri’s sad eyes. “I start and end in the same place I always have.” He stared Yuuri down. “I know exactly what I’m asking for.”  _ I need to say it clearly so he understands.  _ Yuri gripped Yuuri’s thighs to strengthen his point. “I want the father of my child to care for me.”

_ I want him to care for me? Care for me? What the hell?  _ His thoughts were spiraling out of control. _ That’s not what I meant at all! _

Actually, that’s exactly what he meant, unfortunately, he couldn't tell the difference between sex and affection.

“This isn’t just imprinting anymore. I want to be with you.”

Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

Yuri could feel the panic rising in Yuuri. He was quick to smother it in his pheromones.  _ I’m starting to get too good at that. _

“Ok. Enough. Let’s just go to bed.”

Yuuri just sighed and followed him into the bedroom.

\---------------------

June 4

The two men started opening up to each other more. Over dinner, Yuuri would talk about the training he did and Yuri would tell stories about cat videos from the internet or other small things that caught his attention. They became comfortable with each other and got along surprisingly well.

The more difficult subjects were glossed over or ignored.

Yuri did sign up for two classes, both online. He chose Freshman Comp and Japanese language. He wasted no time bragging that he tested into the third level of Japanese.

They were also more comfortable touching each other. When they sat on the sofa to watch tv he would lay his head in Yuuri’s lap. They would hug goodbye when Yuuri left for training and they would regularly cover each other in their scent. Yuri’s day was made up of happy little touches, bumps, and brushes.

The matter of sex had not come up again and no more blatant advances were made but their shower was seeing quite a bit of solo action... from both men.

\---------------------

June 7

Yuuri had a bad day and he could feel it in his bones. It wasn’t particularly interesting that he had a bad day. It was interesting that he wanted to go home and tell Yuri about it.

Dinner that night was simple Japanese Curry. Yuri was craving spicy things and he was running out of recipes to fulfill the need. While he fried the chicken, he patiently explained to Yuri how to use the rice cooker.

It didn’t burn.

Once they were settled at the table Yuuri gathered his nerve.

“So… I saw Jean at the rink today.” he started slowly. “He was very happy to give me a cup of coffee.”  _ That was harder to say than I thought it would be. _

Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

“It’s just a cup of coffee.” Yuri looked surprised at the random admission.

“It isn’t.”  _ Go all in.  _ “I think he was using it to please me.” He caught on that this was important but he still looked confused.

“What do you mean”

_ You can do it. You can say it out loud.  _ He took a deep breath.

“It’s just like when Phichit started to submit. In the very beginning, he would buy me things like coffee or sandwiches. Just to make me happy.” Yuuri frowned but kept going, trying to explain. “I think it’s an instinctual thing. To somehow show he can provide food for the pack. I don’t want it to happen again with Jean. It’s unfair.”

“It’s just coffee. He  _ is  _ your friend.” It didn’t feel like he was downplaying the issue, just adding options.  _ We are actually talking! _

“Maybe, but it could be the start of something much worse. If it continues we will have to move. Or I’ll have to add him to the pack. I don’t want to do either.”

“It’s just a cup of coffee.” Yuri scowled but it was much more thoughtful than his typical frown.

“I have to keep watching. I don’t want him to get sick like…”

_ Like Victor. _

Yuuri snapped his rubber band.

He could feel the panic reaching up to grip his chest.

Yuri’s scowl shifted to one of anger. He jumped up from the table and was dragging Yuuri into the other room before he had time to refuse. Just as quickly he was on the sofa and Yuri was in his lap. He was being aggressively scented.

Even though the scent itself was aggressive, the scent was calm and caring.  _ He’s getting really good at that. _

Yuuri closed his eyes and focused on the warm body in his lap.  _ This is something I could get used to.  _

When he was calm, Yuuri shifted Yuri around so they were sitting back to front. He turned the tv to something neither of them watched. Yuri fell asleep and Yuuri carried him to the bedroom. As he got ready to sleep he figured they could just clean up the dishes in the morning.

\---------------------

June 11

After a full day of training on and off the ice Yuuri came home to Yuri sitting naked on the sofa.  _ One more try. I don’t think he really understands what I want.  _ Yuuri rolled his eyes slowly up and down Yuri’s body. The look was so intense he could feel it.

Yuri shivered.  _ Keep looking! I’m here waiting. _

“Be careful you don’t get cold,” Yuuri said gently, laying a blanket over him. He went to prepare dinner.

_ Does he really not understand? _

\---------------------

June 12

Yuuri was facing a difficult day. He had a therapist appointment that was first thing in the morning. Then he had muscle training, lunch, and quad practice. In the evening Yuri was scheduled for his second doctor’s appointment. Unfortunately, before he could really start his day, he had to deal with a problem.

A very hard problem.

While he was cooking breakfast, Yuri walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Yuri nuzzled his neck and started purring. It was a light sound and Yuuri could feel it through his back more than he could hear it.

He burnt the Blini.

The smell he was giving off was intoxicating. The room was filled with sweet peach cobbler. The hug was not sexual but all Yuuri could think of was Yuri’s naked body on the sofa, ready for him. It would be much too easy to bend him over the counter and savagely take him amid the fried eggs and pancake batter.

He fled, stumbling and stammering into the bedroom, throwing excuses over his shoulder. It took every bit of self control he had to leave.

He was a gentleman.

_ Damnit. _

Taking a shower was his best option. He did actually have to do that before he left. As he slid under the hot spray, he came head to head, again, with his problem.

His achingly hard problem.

He managed to ignore it for most of his shower until the pain of it became unbearable. He sighed and took himself in hand.

He palmed himself gently as he thought about what put him in this situation. Yuri was gorgeous and he had no problems showing off what Yuuri could have.  Yuuri had looked and looked.  _ They say it doesn’t hurt to look but sometimes, it really does.  _ Every soft dip and chiseled plane was committed to memory. There was the slightest bulge in his abdomen where Yuuri knew his child lay. He was graceful and lithe and deliciously masculine.

His body hair was light and soft from the golden nest between his legs to the gossamer dusting on his arms and legs. The pale pink color of his nipples was echoed on the head of his porcelain cock. Every inch of the milky pale skin was ready, waiting, and wanting. Needing Yuuri.

He didn’t remember their first time but he could imagine.  _ I wonder if he would actually taste like peaches.  _ The thought made his mouth water.

Yuuri licked his lips, gripped himself harder, and lost himself to the feeling.

He came hard. Unexpectedly, his knot swelled. He wrapped his hand around it and held on the best he could.

_ Disgraceful. _

Miserably, he turned off the shower and sank to the floor. Guilt washed over him. He usually had more control. Yuri had some kind of mystical seductive power that Yuuri could not escape.

He didn’t deserve the attention. He didn’t deserve to be loved for what he did. Yuri had imprinted on him and Yuuri felt like he had taken away his free will. His alpha nature had already caused an unexpected pregnancy and so many... other problems. He couldn’t take and use someone else's body for his own pleasure.

_ Shameful. _

Ten agonizing minutes later, his knot finally went down. He washed again as fast as he could hoping to clear away his shame. He finished getting ready in a hurry, frantically spreading on his masking lotion. He made it back into the kitchen just in time to leave for his appointment.

Knowing eyes and a small frown sent him on his way.

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *If you are here just for the summary: No plot points changed. I just reworded things to (hopefully) show Yuuri’s -willing involvement- in Yuri’s ‘invasion’ of the apartment.
> 
> I kept all the comments. <3
> 
> Yuri is reading the unabridged untranslated version of Les Mis. I have it in my head that he is hyper-intelligent with an eidetic memory. Also, Yuuri is no slouch... and a polyglot.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Have a beautiful day.


	8. Opening Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri shares his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> Sorry for the wait...school happened... and the annoying amount of notifications you are getting... I'm finished for now... Promise.
> 
> I went back and changed some things in chapter one and three to clear up some confusion. First, the publication date for the guide book is 2020. Next, the guide entry in Chapter 3 was changed. It now says (clearly) that imprinting is only a physical attraction due to the need to procreate. Finally, the effects of imprinting are erased after the pair are intimate.
> 
> I reworked chapter seven. You do not have to go back and reread if you don’t want to. No major plot points were changed. There is a summary of what I changed at the end of that chapter.
> 
> ***Please remember that a person who has been drinking can not give consent. This is a gray situation and it is up to the people involved to decide how they feel about what happened. This is why it is called dubious.***

\---------------------

_ On Relationships: _

_ This guide contains a great deal of information specific to relationships between alpha and omega. The primary focus of a dynamic nature is to procreate. This guide is designed to help you understand your nature and show you what to expect throughout your life. _

_ This does not mean that you, as an omega, are reduced to one half of a breeding pair. Do what makes you happy. _

_ This is your life. Go your way. _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Omega: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, June 12, 2018

Yuuri had been seeing Dr. Fortin since he lived in Detroit. It was difficult to find dynamic specific counselors and Yuuri did a lot of looking until he found the right person. Once they connected, Yuuri continued to see him through video calls. One of the major benefits of moving to this area was that now he could see his counselor in person.

Dr. Fortin was an alpha in his sixties. He was topped with a full head of short gray hair and his face wrinkled around his knowing brown eyes. Over the years, the two men took time to build their relationship and he treated Yuuri as a grandson. There was an air of acceptance and non-judgment that surrounded their sessions and Yuuri flourished under this type of attention. Most importantly, Dr. Fortin was already in a pack.

He really liked Dr. Fortin and was comfortable enough to relax around him. This was the one man that Yuuri felt like he could actually talk to. It was still difficult to do but given time, he could really open up.

During their recent visits, Yuuri had been taking a Clonazepam before the appointment. The drug helped him stay calm and actually talk. This time they were talking about Yuri.

After listening to Yuuri worry about Yuri imprinting for several minutes, Dr. Fortin stopped him and said. “Did you know that imprinting is  _ only  _ a physical attraction? The effects stopped when you had sex. It can lead to deeper feelings but it doesn’t create them. Imprinting isn’t a factor anymore. You need to figure out how you really feel about Yuri.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought it was forever.” Yuuri was silent for several minutes, lost in thought.

“How about you just start saying things that come to mind and I will make a list.” Dr. Fortin got a pen and a pad of paper.

Yuuri opened his mouth to start several times. When he finally did, everything came in a rush.

“He was there when I found out about what happened to Chris. I am afraid to know what would have happened if I was alone. The next day I was still just as bad and he knew it. He decided to stay and help me when he didn’t have to. He could have come and made me give him money and then left again. He could have had the baby and not said anything. He could have had an abortion but he didn’t.” Yuuri shuddered at the possibilities. He could have never know about any of it. “But he came to try to be with me.

“Every time I start to have a panic attack he’s right there to help me. I don’t want to be alone and there he is. I  _ like  _ having him there. That’s another thing, it’s just so easy to have him there. We get along really well and it’s just so comfortable. That’s probably not fair to him...I just kinda expect him to be there to help me now. He says he loves me. I always thought he hated me, he always acted like that...No one should put up with the messes I’ve made. He knows what I’ve done and he chose to stay anyway.”

“So he’s chosen to stay. Why does that surprise you so much?” Dr. Fortin’s gentle voice prompted.

“Because… Look at what I’ve done to people. I’ve destroyed Victor. I took everything from Chris. I made Yuri imprint and now he’s pregnant. All I do is hurt people...over and over again. I don’t deserve anything from anyone.” Yuuri was starting to fall down the familiar spiral and Dr. Fortin cut in.

“Ok. Stop for a moment. You did cause the situation with Victor. You are indirectly responsible for Chris but, you did  _ not  _ tell Victor to go and attack him. You are not completely at fault there. We have talked about this before and we will again. It is something you will need to come to terms with but, right now we are talking about Yuri. You did not cause him to imprint, it just happens and now, yes, he is pregnant. You need to figure out what to do from here. Why don’t you tell me about the baby?”

“I...I never thought I would be a father.” Yuuri’s decent was broken and he had a small smile on his face. “I don’t know exactly… I could…a baby? I got to hear the heartbeat and it just changed everything. We have another appointment today. Maybe I can hear it again.” The sparkle in his eye was unmistakable: hope for the future.

Yuuri’s small smile turned to a frown. “Yuri didn’t mean to get pregnant. He made that clear enough and his heat wasn’t supposed to be until May. I’m not angry with him. I probably should be… but I’m not.” Yuuri relaxed at this. He wasn’t sure how he should be feeling but this was the truth.

“We were both drinking. It was a bad choice but, I can almost understand his line of thinking. He wanted to know why I broke up with Victor. I would never have told anyone what happened unless I was completely trashed. He knows me well enough to know that.

“If I reacted to him then like I do now, I would not have been able to control myself, just by being close to him. I am so attracted to him it hurts. I always looked at him like an angry kid but I see him different now” he blushed at this admission. It was difficult but he had to get the whole truth out. “I...ah… took care of myself in the shower and knotted just thinking about him. I almost always have control of my knot but he just stirs something in me. Drunk, I know I would have been more than willing to take him. I can’t know exactly how I acted but I am absolutely sure I wanted it.” Yuuri looked guilty as he trailed off.

“You said you like him being there?” Dr. Fortin prompted him to continue.

Yuuri had another small smile on his face as he went on.

“Yes, actually I do. I think he’s good for me. He pushes me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise. I got all those boxes moved out of the main room. I even put a quarter of them away. He never asked, I just felt like it was something I could do. I’m eating better too. I cook dinner every night. Real dinner. I had a bad day the other day and I  _ wanted  _ to come home and tell him about it. I knew he would listen.

“We sleep next to each other every night. I suppose I could move if I wanted too, I’ve got two other rooms to sleep in but, I don’t want to. It’s so comfortable to lay with him.

“I find myself looking forward to going home. I find little surprises around the house. You know, he brought twelve little glass statues with him and three pairs of pants.” Yuuri chuckled at this. “We went to the store the other day. Together. It was nice. It wasn’t the rink, or a doctor, or Jean’s house. It was just a store, one I’ve never been to. I got some new clothing too, something that isn’t a tracksuit. This is all stuff you and I have talked about...me needing to do things and not. With him there, I feel like I can.

“I’m not ready to have sex with him...I’d like to but I don’t think it’s time. He’s made it perfectly clear that he wants it. Actually, he’s told me he wants more, a lot more. I don’t… hate the idea. But maybe…” Yuuri trailed off, unsure.

“Have you told him any of this?”

“No,” he blinked at Dr. Fortin.

“I think maybe you should... One more question. If you weren’t in the situation you are in and he was just a guy off the street, what would you do?”

That question caught Yuuri off guard. He sat for a moment and thought about it.

“I’d probably ask him to dinner…” He said slowly, frowning.

“Yuuri,” he said gently, “it may not be the best situation but you are allowed to be happy.”

\---------------------

Yuuri went through the rest of his day feeling a little lighter than he had been before. He still had a lot to do but his thoughts were starting to untangle. He wasn’t looking forward to talking to Yuri. It would be awkward and difficult, but it had to be done.

When he walked into the apartment, he was greeted by the strong smell of peach cobbler.

Yuuri sighed.  _ This talk will be harder than I thought. _

He took a deep breath and realized that it wasn’t Yuri’s sweet peach smell. This one had a dark yeasty cast and it was warm. He looked around to the kitchen and Yuri was at the table with a pleased smile on his face. In front of him was a baking dish.

_ Oh. It’s actually a peach cobbler. _

“You can bake?” Yuuri bit back a chuckle.

“Maybe fried chicken turned into fire and I burnt rice in a rice cooker but, God dammit, I can bake a fucking desert.” his smile changed to a challenging scowl and a line appeared between his eyebrows. “You had an appointment today. They make you...quiet.”

“Yea… about that.”  _ Just go ahead and say it.  _ “I..um...don’t want to have sex with you.” Yuri’s took the words as a physical blow. He sat back in his chair and hunched his shoulders. His smell took on notes of sadness.

“Oh. Ok.” He said in a small voice.

Yuuri winced.  _ That was a little harsh.  _ “Let’s go out to dinner after your appointment.”

“Dinner?”

“At a restaurant.” Yuuri nodded in reassurance.

Yuri relaxed his shoulders just a little. “Dinner.” He nodded acceptance.

\---------------------

Dr. Ouellet didn’t take long to come in the room. She was smiling as always.  _ These appointments are so much better than with my counselor. _

“I did some research on pregnancy outside of heat. It was  _ very  _ interesting. I’d like to do a little more research on this, but I can tell you that so far, I’ve only found three reasons. First, the omega imprinted on the alpha. Two, the omega psychologically needed the child. And three, the alpha is extremely powerful. It’s so interesting!” Yuri looked up at Yuuri and they shared a knowing look.  _ Two out of three, we never stood a chance. _

“Anyway, I would like to look into it more, maybe next time you could answer some questions for me.” Dr. Ouellet’s eyebrows rose and disappeared under her bangs in excitement and her arms waved wildly. Yuuri was distracted by her hand waving and lost the thread of the conversation.  _ Why does she have two watches?  _ “Maybe we could do a case study, oh, with your permission of course. The WDPG has little information on this and so I’ve been calling around to my doctor friends. I’ve found five other doctors that have treated cases like this.”

“Good to know I’m such a medical freak.” Yuri’s face scrunched up into a scowl.

His tone made Yuuri come back to the conversation. “Thank you, Dr. Ouellet, we will talk about maybe joining the case study later.” He could tell Yuri was getting upset.

“Oh really? How exciting!” She flashed another blinding smile. “Well, that’s not the only thing exciting today. You get to have an ultrasound. But first, some questions. How is everything?” She addressed her question to Yuuri.

“Good enough,” Yuuri said.

“How has the sickness been? Cravings? Any pain?” The string of questions for Yuri were all let out in one breath. She was just a little skittish around him.

“Only once a day, sometimes not at all. Spicy food and no pain. I just feel pudgy and sluggish.” He pinched his stomach. It was still flat. He didn’t gain any more weight but a thin layer of fat spread around his hips and stomach. “My pants are a little tight.” He frowned again.

“Perfect. Most slender people take a while to show. It just looks like they are gaining weight then one day the belly blows up like a balloon. That could be anywhere between fifteen and twenty weeks. You should definitely be showing by then.” She smiled again but at least her eyebrows were back. “Ok. Now for the fun part.” She reached for the gel and ultrasound wand. “Let’s get a picture!”

This is exactly what the two men had been waiting for. Dr. Ouellet kept up her steady monolog through the ultrasound. Finally, with another huge smile, she turned the screen around.

Yuri looked at the picture of the child, momentarily speechless. “Is that a leg?” he pointed out the feature.

“Yep,” she answered. “And there’s the head, and there is the little heart.” she pointed them out. “See, you can see it beating. The baby is three centimeters. That’s the perfect size for ten weeks. Everything looks great. Let me turn the sound up so you two can listen.”

For the second time, the beautiful sound of a child’s heartbeat filled the room.

Yuuri could feel the start of tears in his eyes. Hope and joy were not things expected to feel again. The idea of a child was overwhelming and it choked him up. Blindly he reached for Yuri’s hand and held it tight.  _ My baby has a heartbeat and I can see it beating! _

He watched, spellbound as Yuri and the doctor argued about his exercise habits.

\---------------------

On the way home the two men stopped at the local Thai restaurant. Yuuri made a light joke about blaming Phichit for the child’s affinity for spice. Yuri laughed at this and it lightened the mood.

Their time at the restaurant was uneventful. It wasn’t one of those uncomfortable silences that seem to drag on and on, it was quiet companionship. They chatted a little while they waited for the bill.

“I have to choose my music soon. I was wondering if you would help?” Yuuri was nervous asking this. Music and choreography were the most important aspects of a skater’s season. It was a very personal request and he hoped Yuri understood what he was trying to do.  _ Hopefully he realizes that earlier wasn’t a complete rejection. _

“Sure...yea, I'll think of some songs.” Yuri looked surprised. The conversation trailed off again and he cast around a moment to find something else to say. Yuri spoke first.

“Yakov called. They are going to release the statement tomorrow. He’s just listing it as personal reasons.” The announcement was guaranteed to cause a stir in the skating community and the backlash would never be nice to deal with.

“Mmm...turning your phone off helps. Let it go a few days until everyone calms down.” Yuuri had to deal with backlash and scandal more than once and this was the best solution he found. “You should be safe enough here. Even if the press finds you the WDPG will make them drop the story. This is a protected town.”

When the two men finished at the restaurant they walked home slowly to better enjoy the mild night.

_ I think it just might be ok. _

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (and putting up with my edits).  
> Have a beautiful day.


	9. Calming Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am not your dirty little secret. You didn’t even tell your best fking friend!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually a continuation of Chapter 7 (along with the last one) so finally, this has come to an end. I had an unusual amount of trouble writing this but, the chapter is finished, the sun is shining, and the semester is over.
> 
> There is a bunch of bickering with some smut at the end.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Have a beautiful day.

\---------------------

_On Pregnancy:_

_Dynamic childbearing is a symbiotic relationship. The omega carries the child within while the alpha’s pheromones support and nurture the omega. A pregnant omega will need consistent exposure to their alpha’s pheromones for a happy, healthy pregnancy._

_Without the support of their alpha, omega will have a difficult pregnancy. Symptoms can include extreme depression, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, low birth weight, low amniotic fluid resulting in a dry birth, and other such complications. The miscarriage rate in this situation is 37%._

_Thankfully, there are options for your mate and child if something happens to you. An alpha closely related to you can support the pregnancy to term. More recently, doctors have created chemical treatments to make up for your absence._

_-Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Alpha: a Guide for Young Dynamics’_

\--------------------

Quebec, Canada, June 23, 2018

It was perfect.

Yuuri was walking home after another encounter with Jean. He was irritable and just wanted to go home but this? This made him stop in the street. He saw it in the display window of an antique shop innocently watching the people pass by.

It was perfect and he had to have it.

The shopkeeper didn’t even know what he was talking about and had to be taken outside and shown. Once Yuuri finally had what he wanted boxed and paid for, he made his way home happily.

\---------------------

When Yuuri got home, Yuri was waiting at the table. He had the chess board set up and a pot of green tea was steeping. Yuuri put a package on the table between them and sat down. This was another new ritual they developed. Over a game of chess and tea, they would share their day.

“I found [ your song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arRISAGjTlQ).” Yuri had been on a quest for the perfect version of the song all day. He looked up and gave a self satisfied smile. _At least now I have my phone back._ The media was oddly accepting of his choice to take a season off. Several years ago Yakov gave in and hired a media specialist. She made everything so much easier.

His angels, on the other hand, were convinced he was dying. Yuri spent a week reassuring his fans that he was fine and just wanted a vacation. He made several posts, including selfies, about not wanting to get burnt out and enjoying the time to himself. He was very careful to turn off the location.

“Here are [the lyrics](http://www.lyricsreg.com/lyrics/cristina+vee/Bad+Apple+English+Version/). They’re super appropriate and this version is so you.” Yuri played the song on his phone. The strong sounds of piano and strings filled the air. Yuuri read the lyrics as he listened.

> _...Will tomorrow ever come? Will I make it through the night?_
> 
> _Will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?_
> 
> _Am I hurting? Am I sad? Should I stay, or should I go?_
> 
> _I've forgotten how to tell. Did I ever even know?_ _..._

“I thought you could make your theme ‘Journey’. You are doing so much better now. This song was you a while ago. The free skate could be you where you want to be.” Yuri man put a lot of thought into this theme. Yuuri was a dancer before he was a skater and his best programs were always born of pure emotion.

“Yuri,” he stopped to take a breath. “It’s perfect. Will you play it again?” This time when he listened to it he closed his eyes and lost himself in the music.

Yuuri was doing much better. The darkness inside him subsided somewhat and he had a good week. His medication was adjusted again and he wasn’t constantly relying on Yuri to keep his panic at bay.

After the third playthrough of the song, Yuri’s curiosity got the best of him. “So what’s that package?”

Yuuri flushed in embarrassment. He clutched at the package nervously and slowly held it out to Yuri. “I saw it and well, here.” He looked away.

_What the hell could be so embarrassing?_

Yuri roughly grabbed the box and tore it open to see what was inside. He gasped.

_It’s fucking perfect._

Laying on a bed of yellow tissue paper was a small statue of a kitten. The kitten was curled up on itself sleeping. The whole thing was white with the faintest lines for whiskers and other details. The tiny little cheeks were dusted with pink. It was only one inch long.

“Ah..” _Use your words._ “Ah…” Yuri took the precious kitten in his hands and cradled it to his chest. He could feel his cheeks going red and still no words came.

He looked up and noticed Yuuri staring at him intently. His mouth was slightly open and wet from licking his lips. His face had a light blush and his eyes shone with anticipation. He looked down when he was caught staring.

“I..it’s kinda silly and um.. if you don’t like it I can take it back and um…”

Yuri’s hands closed around the kitten and an involuntary growl left him.

“Oh...ok then,” his face changed from anticipation to pleasure.

“Let’s just play our game.” Yuri’s voice was gruff from embarrassment and he wanted time to think of how to reply.

They played chess and sipped their tea quietly for a while until Yuuri sighed. _Something must have happened today._ He sighed several more times without saying anything.

“Ok. What happened?”

Yuuri scowled and set down his tea. “Jean was at the rink again. I think I need to call Phichit but I really don't want to.”

“Fucking JJ.” he could smell the uncertainty and discontent coming from Yuuri. Yuri sighed and said, “I'll take care of it.”

He picked up his phone and opened Instagram. It was the only way he had to contact Phichit and a direct message should do the trick.

**yuri-plisetsky:** Phichit

**yuri-plisetsky:** Phichit

**phichit+chu:** Yes?

_Trust Phichit to answer immediately._

**yuri-plisetsky** **:** Yuuri’s having problems and he needs help with Jj

**phichit+chu:** Katsuki?

**yuri-plisetsky:** Yes Katsuki

**yuri-plisetsky:** Who else?

**phichit+chu:** Ok. I’m listening

**yuri-plisetsky:**  He thinks JJ is starting to submit and its gotten worse after Yuuri went off his suppressants

**phichit+chu:** Why is he off his suppressants?

**phichit+chu:** Wait. Why are you telling me this?

**yuri-plisetsky:** He didn’t tell you

**yuri-plisetsky:** He didn’t tell you about me??!

Yuri looked up Yuuri. His eyes were squinted in anger. “You haven’t told him about me?” Yuuri’s eyes widened and he looked away quickly. His only answer was a string of nonsense syllables. He smelled like embarrassment with small hints of fear.

“You weren’t out of your first trimester.” He finally managed. “I didn’t want to tell people just in case something happened.”

Yuri an angry noise in the back of his throat. “Well I’m fucking telling him now.”

**phichit+chu:**  Hello??!!!

**phichit+chu:** What’s going on???

**yuri-plisetsky:** Fucking chill

**yuri-plisetsky:** I’m knocked up. It’s his. We live together

**phichit+chu:** ;sgtuugt/bj’aoiy t

**yuri-plisetsky:**  Shut up and wait

**phichit+chu:** iuhvsaet; oiytr

Yuuri’s phone started to ring and when he saw it was Phichit he put it on silent.

**yuri-plisetsky:** You know he isn’t going to answer that shit. Text him and focus on JJ

**yuri-plisetsky:** After our fucking fight

The call ended and the text notification went off six times. Yuuri looked at the messages and paled.

“What the hell did you say to him? Most of this is just random letters.”

“I told him the truth. Seems like you didn’t say much.” Yuri could feel the start of angry tears. _Great and I have to cry too?_

“I.. um… well…” Yuuri smelled like guilt again.

“I am not your dirty little secret. You didn’t even tell your best fucking friend!”

“You haven’t fucking told anyone either.” Yuuri was also getting angry. _At least he’s learning to fight back._

“Who the fuck would I tell. Yakov? Lilla? Otabek?” Yuri cringed at that admission. He really didn’t have anyone to tell. _I am never going to not regret what happened with Otabek._

“I...I was trying to protect you.” Yuuri was quiet when he said this. It was as good as admitting his guilt.

“Protect me from nothing. You were protecting yourself.” He felt himself go cold. This was beyond his usual brash discontent. This was true anger.

“I didn’t want it to end.” Yuuri waved his arms around the room. “This is mine. It’s ours and I didn’t want anyone else to know.”

Yuri stopped short. _He didn’t want people to know because he didn’t want them to bother us?_

“Fine. He fucking knows now anyway. You may apologize before we go to sleep,” he stormed off into the other room, kitten statue in hand.

\---------------------

They spent the rest of the night in silence. Yuuri cooked and Yuri cleaned up the kitchen. They followed their usual rituals of snuggling on the sofa and brushing hair but not a word was said. Finally, while they were getting ready for bed Yuuri spoke.

“I am sorry you know.” he was moving the stuffed animals off their bed, facing away from Yuri. It was easier to admit he was wrong when he didn’t have to look him in the face. “I don’t want anyone else here. I want to protect what we have.”

Yuri walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I forgive you,” he mumbled into the back of Yuuri’s head. “I thought you would at least tell your best friend.”

Yuuri sighed. He could smell the other man around him and the scent was full of forgiveness and support.

“I know.” He spun around to face Yuri. He misjudged the distance and caught his breath when he found himself nose to nose with Yuri. Without thinking he leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet and chaste and quiet. Just the smallest pressure against each other.

When he drew back Yuri sighed. His eyes were still closed and his face held the slightest of blushes. _I can’t believe I did that!_

Yuuri quickly stepped away and went back to clearing off the bed. “I told Phichit. Not everything, just about us. We can’t decide if Jean is really a problem or not. I just have to keep an eye on him. He could just be trying to be friendly but if he starts deferring to me or flinching I will have to do something. If I keep my distance it may be fine.” He said in a rush, stumbling over his words. _Well that wasn’t awkward at all._

“Ok.” Yuri’s voice was subdued. “Thank you for talking to Phichit. Let’s go to bed.”

The next day, they decided that they would wait a while to tell Yuuri’s mother. Maybe another week or so. Yuuri wanted to make it a nice surprise for her instead of just blurting it out. Yuri just wanted to be there when she was told. Yakov and Lilla could wait too. Parents would only interfere with their happy little island.

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, June 25, 2018

After things settled down, the two men had a nice weekend. They went to the local mall and spent the day wandering around because Yuri was tired of staying in the apartment all the time. Yuuri bought a set of yellow and orange polka dot pillows that clashed wonderfully with their blue sofa and a zebra print blanket that only matched itself. Yuri’s happiness was worth sacrificing the aesthetic of the living room.

They were curled up together under the superbly offensive blanket when an email came for Yuri.

_Yura,_

_Katsuki texted me and told me that what happened between us was his fault. I’m not sure exactly how that works but I’m willing to hear you out. Maybe we can give that friend thing another try._

_Beka_

Yuri read the email once, twice, three times. At the end of the fourth read through, he burst into tears. There was no stopping this rush of emotion. _Beka is willing to talk again and Yuuri did this for me!_

He sat up and threw himself into Yuuri’s arms. He, of course, had no idea what was happening. He was upset that Yuri was crying and it showed on his face. Not knowing what to do, he rubbed Yuri’s back. He didn’t press for details that he knew he wouldn’t get.

When Yuri was finally calm he leaned back and cupped Yuuri’s face. “Beka emailed. Thank you,” he said and Yuuri relaxed into his touch.

“So it went ok?”

Rather than answering the question Yuri leaned forward and kissed the father of his child. This kiss was intended to be soft and innocent but it changed when he felt Yuuri’s tongue slide across the seam of his mouth. Yuri sighed into it and parted his lips in welcome.

He let Yuuri explore his mouth. He was tentative at first, just tracing Yuri’s lips and teeth. The gentle probing continued until he became more confident. Then, Yuuri pulled back a little and nibbled on Yuri’s bottom lip.

Yuri melted into him with a whimper. He slid his tongue along Yuuri’s and explored his mouth in return. The two moved against each other naturally until both were out of breath.

When they separated Yuri laid his nose against Yuuri’s neck. _This is exactly where I want to be._ It was enough for him now, just to be close.

Things changed after that. Instead of a hug goodbye, it was a kiss. Their nightly snuggling was interspersed with kisses and light touches. They lingered in bed in the mornings, not wanting to let go.

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, July 3, 2018

Jean was laughing. It was a loud grating laugh and Yuuri was thoroughly finished with his shit. That day he was presented, yet again, with coffee, lunch, and incessant questions about his omega. The only bit of information Jean had so far was Yuri’s gender.

He was on his phone buying another gift for Yuri during lunch and Jean caught him. This new gift was the most important so far. There was an old custom of presenting an omega with a bracelet or necklace that represented the alpha that was courting them. The alpha also wore a matching piece of jewelry that represented their omega. It was rather antiquated but Yuuri liked the implications of the ritual.

“That’s so 1950,” he said between laughs. “Are you going to give him your class ring too?”

“Jean...stop.” Yuuri’s embarrassment was turning to annoyance because Jean would not let it go.

“Really now, what kind of man is your omega that he’s insisting on courting bracelets.”

“It was my idea.” He mumbled. “We haven’t exactly had a traditional relationship so far so I thought maybe I could do this part right.” Besides, if Yuri reacted to the bracelets like he reacted to the other gifts all this laughing would be worth it.

Jean grabbed the phone out of Yuuri’s hands. “C’mon Alpha, let’s see what charms you’re getting. A kitten, a pig, two ballet shoes, and-.” Yuuri snatched his phone back and Jean started laughing again.

At that, Yuuri reached his breaking point. The man just had to call him Alpha. “JJ if you don’t shut the fuck up I will cut you w-” He realized just a moment too late what exactly he just said.

Jean stopped laughing and looked at Yuuri. “You sound just like...Oh my God.” His blue eyes widened in surprise and his jaw dropped. He finally connected the dots. “That’s why he is taking the season off?”

_Shit. I need to do something right now._

He did the only thing he could think of through his panic. He used his Voice. “You will not speak his name and you will not say anything about this to anyone until I say you can.”

Jean clenched his jaw in outrage “Sometimes you are a real bastard.” He hissed through his teeth.

“And you need to learn to let things go, especially when people tell you to shut the fuck up.” Yuuri hissed back.

_I am sure that was a bad idea._ He finished his lunch and went back to shopping for his bracelets. Jean stared at him through narrowed eyes until the older man left for off ice training.

\---------------------

Yuri was not as angry about Jean finding out as Yuuri thought he would be. His only comment was “I’m glad you are finally sticking up for yourself.”

Dr. Fortin was also rather pleased that he fought back although, “You probably could have handled it a bit better.”

\---------------------

Quebec, Canada, July 7, 2018

“What’s in the package this time?” Yuri had his arms crossed, scowl on his face. He had just closed the door after the delivery man. Yuri wanted to go out again today but Yuuri made excuses to stay home so they could be there when the package was delivered.

Inside were the courting bracelets he was so mercilessly made fun of for. The one for Yuri was four silver and dark blue bands meant to be worn together. Each strand was a different width and weight, each with its own charm along the band or hanging from the clasp. The charms he finally selected were a small pink pig, a ballet slipper, an ice skate, and a dark blue A.

His own bracelet was much more simple. A double strand of silver cord was connected together by the line of his own charms. He had a ballet slipper, ice skate, a white kitten, and a light blue Ω.

Yuuri sighed and handed over the box. _This isn’t exactly how I wanted this conversation to go._ Yuri mumbled under his breath as he tore the box open. When he found what was inside he was speechless again. His eyes squinted and he pursed his lips. _Oh no. He hates it._

“These are… Are you trying to court me?” Yuri sounded angry and his scent was mostly confusion with some excitement.

“No....um...Maybe?” He retreated a few steps. His face was on fire and he was unsure how Yuri would react.

“Fucking courting bracelets.” His voice was gruff but his face was burning red. His eyes shone with the start of tears. He shoved his fist roughly in Yuuri’s face. “Well, put it on then.” As hard as he was trying to hide his embarrassment by being rough, he could not stop himself from smiling.

“Of course.” _Does this mean he’s accepted?_ He reached out and took the bracelet. He took his time clasping each strand of the delicate bracelet. This felt like a ritual, formal and important, like the weight of their future lay in several strands of silver.

Yuri shivered in pleasure when he felt the weight of it on his arm.

“Ok. Now yours.” Yuuri held out his hand and Yuri slid his thumb along the inside of his wrist. He finally noticed something important was missing. “Your rubber band.”

Yuuri laid his finger on the bracelet in Yuri’s hand. “I thought these would be better. I haven’t been using it,” he whispered.

Yuri smiled triumphantly as he closed the bracelet around Yuuri’s wrist.

Yuuri the younger man to his body and wrapped him in his arms. The scent of sweet peaches and contentment was intoxicating. Something he could not get enough of.

_I’m allowed to be happy._

He kissed the corners of Yuri’s mouth and moved gently across his cheek to the shell of his ear. “I’m allowed to be happy,” he whispered. Yuri shuddered at the words.

Yuuri kissed his way back to Yuri’s mouth where he took little tastes of his lips. He added the little nips that he knew would make him lose control. Yuri made a needy noise in the back of his throat and crushed his mouth against Yuuri’s.

He ran his hand up into Yuri’s hair and freed it from the braid. The other arm explored his back and waist. Yuri’s hot hands were on him too, sliding up the back of his shirt to feel his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Yuuri broke the kiss and pushed Yuri back. He saw the flash of disappointment before Yuri quickly covered it with a smile.

“I would very much like to take you to bed.” It was time. He finally felt ready.

“Oh, yes. Please,” he said in a breathy voice. Their bodies crashed together again, all hesitation gone. Weeks of pent up frustration were trying to work their way out in one kiss. It was all teeth and tongue with needy whimpers and growls. Yuuri could feel Yuri’s hardened length sliding against his own. The feeling sent white hot sparks through his body.

Breathless, Yuuri broke the kiss yet again. He scooped Yuri up and carried him into the bedroom. Finally in the bedroom, they tumbled into bed together to the sound of delighted laughter. Yuuri guided his omega up to the head of the bed and laid him gently on the pillows. His long blond hair spread out in a halo around him.

The mood turned serious as Yuuri ran his eyes down Yuri’s body. _Amazing._ his skin was pink with blush from the tips of his ears down to where the flesh of his neck disappeared under his shirt. His pupils were blown out leaving only a thin green ring around them. _I need to see how far that blush goes._ He licked his lips and ran his hands under Yuri’s shirt.

Yuri arched into his touch and gasped when Yuuri’s fingers found his nipples. He sat up and ripped off his shirt, allowing him better access. The blush spread most of the way down his chest. Pleased with that reaction, Yuuri lowered his mouth to one of the perfectly pink nipples. He licked and nipped at the little bud. The sounds coming from Yuri were wonderful. He worked that nipple and then the other until both stood out red and slightly overstimulated. He tasted the perfect mixture of salty and sweet.

Yuri forced his hips forward trying to find any amount of friction to ease his need. Yuuri trailed kisses down Yuri’s abdomen. He stopped here for a moment to admire the hard knot of skin that curved slightly outward. It was still easily covered with a shirt but there was a noticeable difference in Yuri’s body. Happy to find this change, Yuuri continued kissing to the line of Yuri’s pants. Teasing gently, he pulled them down slowly and kissed every new sliver of exposed skin.

Yuuri’s body was vibrating with need but he pushed that aside for now. He wanted to go slow and savor this experience.

He pulled Yuri’s pants down further, freeing his erection. A bead of precum lay at the tip. This needed to be tasted too. He licked the slit to taste the salt that was there then worked his tongue under Yuri’s foreskin. He could smell the slick flowing freely. Yuri’s hands went to the back of his head, desperately clutching at his hair. Yuri was breathing heavily, lost in the pleasure.

Yuuri worked Yuri’s pants off and onto the floor. In one quick movement he settled between his milky white thighs. He worked Yuri’s foreskin down to completely expose the head of his engorged cock. Yuuri’s free hand gracefully slid down into the cleft of Yuri’s ass.

He took more of Yuri into his mouth and slid one finger past the tight ring of muscle. Yuri was ready and waiting for him all sweet peach cobbler and tight wet heat. he moaned at the intrusion and rolled his hips up into the Yuuri’s mouth.

“More” he whimpered. Yuuri added a second and third finger quickly, surprised at how ready he was. Yuri dug his heels into the bed and arched his back trying to draw him in further. Yuuri swirled his tongue around, alternating between teasing the slit and using the flat of his tongue along the underside of Yuri’s cock.

Yuuri took his time mapping out Yuri’s insides, finding all the places that made him moan and gasp. “Please, just fuck me.” He begged in a mix of languages. Yuuri persisted, taking pride in the obscene wet noise he was creating.

Yuri sat up and growled. “Enough.” He grabbed Yuuri’s shirt and tried to rip it off. It got stuck around his head and arm. Yuuri laughed at his frustration and resulting pout.

“Fine then, you do it.” Yuri crossed his arms and laid back again.

“Yes, of course,” he said, laughing again. He backed off the bed and quickly stripped himself.

Yuuri felt eyes on him and glanced at Yuri His eyes were hooded and glassy. His hair was a mess around him. When Yuuri looked at him, Yuri trailed his hand down his stomach and palmed his length. He grabbed one leg behind the knee and spread himself wide in invitation. His hole was gaping slightly and fluttering against the air. Slick was dripping out in slow rivulets.

“Shit.” The word came out more of a grunt. Yuuri was lost already. He eagerly crawled forward to cover Yuri. He mouthed the scent gland on the side of Yuri’s neck as he lined himself up.

Yuri gasped, sputtered, and moaned as his alpha pushed himself in with one long gentle stroke. When he bottomed out he waited for Yuri to adjust. After several moments, he rolled his hips forward. Yuuri took the hint and began to move.

He withdrew to his head and pushed himself back slowly. He closed his eyes against the sensation and tensed his body. This wasn’t going to last long.

Yuuri hooked his hands behind Yuri’s knees and bent him forward. He could tell by the sound he made that this new position hit all the right places. Yuuri snapped his hips forward, again and again, driving mewling moans from Yuri.

“I don’t think I can control my knot.” He said panting between thrusts. Yuri’s hands went around his back and held him fast.

“I want it.” This was all he needed to let go. He felt the snap low in his abdomen and stilled. As his knot swelled Yuri rolled his hips encouraging the stretch. He came and came, seeing stars.

Everything blurred out, his vision went white, the sounds from Yuri were muted, and everything was focused on the explosion within him.

When he came to himself again he was still hovering over Yuri. His legs were folded up on either side of him and their stomachs were stuck together with cum. _That can’t be comfortable._

“I think we need to roll over. You can’t stay like that for ten minutes.” He shifted and rolled until Yuri was laying on top of him. By the time they were settled he was panting again. Yuuri could feel his hardness between them.

Yuri looked up at Yuuri through his lashes and shot him a smirk. He started rocking his hips back and forth, clutching around the knot. _Little minx._

“If you keep doing that I’ll...actually, keep doing that.” He took Yuri’s shoulders and forced him back so he was sitting up. He gripped Yuri’s hips and helped him move while the second orgasm built.

In this position, Yuri was on display and he was a mess. His eyes were closed and his face was slack. The blush covered his whole body and his stomach was shiny with half dried cum. Yuri man arched his back and moved as much as he could with them still locked together. He was holding his cock and stroking in time to the rocking of his hips.

The pressure on Yuuri knot was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Yuri’s hole was gripping and pulsing, trying to milk him dry again.

This orgasm didn’t take long either. His body tensed and shuddered and exploded as soon as he felt the first white hot rope of Yuri’s cum land on his chest.

Yuri fell forward in the aftermath and nuzzled into Yuuri’s neck. “I’m going to fall asleep.” he mumbled and closed his eyes. Yuuri lay there savoring the closeness until he was able to separate their bodies.

He quickly went to the bathroom and washed. He also grabbed a warm wet towel for Yuri. When everything was clean and comfortable he returned to the bed and held Yuri in his arms.

_I could be happy._ He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of his new family.

\---------------------

Hours later Yuuri was shaken awake.

“Your phone,” Yuri’s voice was muffled with sleep. “It’s Chris.”

\---------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how well I did on the naughty bits so let me know…  
> This chapter also comes with links:
> 
> This is the song  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arRISAGjTlQ
> 
> And the lyrics  
> http://www.lyricsreg.com/lyrics/cristina+vee/Bad+Apple+English+Version/
> 
> Inspiration for Yuri’s bracelet  
> https://www.anniehaakdesigns.co.uk/blessed-bracelet-stack
> 
> And Yuuri’s bracelet (kinda)  
> http://image.dhgate.com/0x0/f2/albu/g2/M01/86/24/rBVaGlZmOteADLHBAALO6CvsxVk885.jpg  
> \-----  
> RavenHowl, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. They got me through this chapter. Encouragement makes all the difference.  
> This goes for everyone that leaves comments.  
> \-----  
> Today I learned what an epithet was. I didn’t know. *Shrugs* Now I do so I took them out.  
> \-----  
> I got a Tumblr…Don’t expect too much but the asks should work (I hope) and I will answer all PM’s. I would love to hear from you.  
> Tumblr URL: lazyblizzarddefendor.tumblr.com


	10. Chris and Victor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please make sure you read the notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Triggers Warnings: This chapter is about the Chris and Victor non-con/rape situation, Panic attacks, Severe mental illness (catatonic state, memory loss, dissociation) Talk of major character death (no actual death), Talk of major character injury (brain damage), Brief reference to blood***
> 
> If you want to skip these things, read the guide entry and skip down to the endnotes (really, skip the whole chapter). Start reading at ***Summery*** to get basic plot points. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long. It’s been an interesting few weeks~

\----------------------

_On Pack Bonding:_

_The pack bonding gland is located in the left wrist next to the scent gland. A bite from an alpha or omega on this gland will bond an individual to a pack. All dynamics can be bound to a pack. In the case of betas, the bonding gland must be mature. When mated, both of the pair should be bonded to the pack._

_A pack bonding mark can take the place of a mating mark. When two alpha or two omega are in a relationship and wish to function as a mated pair, they can substitute a two way pack bonding for the two way mating mark. This bonding is not as deep as a mating bond but will give the couple a closer and more permanent relationship._

_When considering this type of bond please remember that you have one of two options. You can either form a pack by giving two or more people a one way pack bonding bite or have a two way pack bonding with one person._

_-Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Alpha: a Guide for Young Dynamics’_

\---------------------

Melbourne, Australia, July 9, 2018

Chris forced himself to relax back into his chair. Yuuri and Yuri were on their way over. All he had to do now was wait. Alpha was aimlessly staring out the window. His blue eyes were cloudy and dark, sunken into his head. His pale skin was tinged with gray and his beautiful silver hair lay lank and dull against his forehead. It was as if all the life had been drained out of the once vibrant man leaving only a shell behind.

Alpha was sick. Chris didn’t understand half of what was going on but he knew that when doctors started sentences with “We think” and “As far as we know” it wasn’t good. Phrases like Catatonic State and Severe Brain Damage kept popping up.

Everything was ok for the first few months. Chris was living with the decision he made. This was his new life and he would make the most of it. Things could have been much different for him but he didn’t like to think about it. When things got hard, he immersed himself in the feeling of the bond. It made him feel loved and protected. That somehow, the future would be bright for the three of them.

He never fought against the bond. Bonds are for life and he couldn’t just walk away. And he had a child to take care of. That left him with two options. He could continue to fight and stay miserable for the rest of his life or he could take the tattered rags and sew them into something beautiful. It was much easier to lose himself in the bond.

Alpha was a good man, deep in his soul. They were best friends for twelve years and Chris loved him before all of this happened. At least he was bound to someone he knew he could like.

The dynamic community’s punishment of Strong Disapproval for Alpha was also difficult. Chris could get anything he wanted or needed, usually for free. Everyone was kind to him and helped him when they could.

Alpha, on the other hand, would never work again. The companies that were offering him endorsement deals and modeling jobs did not want to be associated with his deeds and bad reputation. When he walked down the road, angry stares and murmurs followed him. Chris moved them out of Switzerland as soon as he could. Alpha wouldn’t be able to work in the new town either but at least they didn’t get stared at on the street.

Things changed when Yuri visited them. Yuuri’s smell was all over him and it set Alpha off. When it started Alpha would sit and stare out the window for short periods of time. This got worse and worse until that was all he did. Alpha would follow simple commands that Chris gave him but would not move on his own. When he was sitting like that, his scent would fade to almost nothing so Chris and Alpha’s doctor made the decision to move him to a different specialist. Now, they lived in a protected community outside of Melbourne.

Their apartment was a bright little one bedroom with a nice view of the gardens. All Alpha would do was sit at the window and stare. Nothing the doctors did changed the situation. They were talking about separating Chris from Alpha and putting him on pheromone treatments to make up for the lack of an alpha. This was not the best solution because sometimes the chemicals did not work. Chris didn’t want to be separated from Alpha, he wanted a normal life. _It feels like the doctors have given up._ Alpha would probably die from this.

They had been living there for three weeks when one of the doctors had an idea. Alpha’s condition was caused by Yuuri’s rejection. It was possible that being bonded in Yuuri’s pack would stop or reverse the effects caused by Alpha’s rejection. It was a shot in the dark, but one that Chris was willing to take.

Chris laid his hand on the gentle swell of his belly. He was starting to feel more of her movements, little flutters and bubbles deep in his gut. _Her._ That was new too. He had an appointment the day before and found out his child was a girl. His princess, the driving force in his life. One point of joy in a sea of pain.

It took all his courage to make the phone call that brought Yuuri here. He didn’t even ask for them to come, he begged. Chris cringed at the memory. His mate and daughter needed him to beg, so he did. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

Finally, the doorbell rang. Chris took a deep breath and went to the door. If this didn’t work, nothing would. Yuri was first through the door. He stood tall and proud, almost protective.

Chris was surprised at the changes in Yuri. He looked like he was thriving. His hair was shiny and his skin had a healthy glow. His eyes were missing their usual hard edge. Overall, he was just softer than he was weeks ago.

Yuuri looked better too. He was hiding behind Yuri, clearly anxious and uncomfortable. The last time Chris saw him, his face was pinched with stress and he looked ill. Now, he looked healthy and the stress lines were gone.

It was fascinating to see how the two fit together. Chris glanced over to Alpha. _Maybe someday I could have that._

“Thank you for coming.” He nodded at Yuuri. He didn’t have to like someone to be polite.

“Yea,” Yuuri mumbled, not looking up. “You said it was really bad when you called.”

At the sound of his voice, Alpha turned his head. His eyes fixed on Yuuri. The stare was unsettling but it made Chris’ throat tighten in relief.

“That’s the first time in a week he’s moved without being told.” _This may just work._ Yuri took a sharp breath. His eyes were wide and he was looking at Chris with pity.

“Just go and do it.” Yuri squeezed Yuuri’s arm and gave him a little push. Then he flopped down on the sofa to wait.

Alpha tracked Yuuri as he walked across the room. “Victor, I’m here to add you to the pack. Will you let me bond you?” His voice was hoarse. Chris could smell his fear.

Alpha didn’t say anything. He lifted his arm to Yuuri, still staring at him in silent accusation. Yuuri grabbed his arm and after a moment of hesitation bit down hard. Tears leaked out of his eye.

When the bonding was finished Yuuri ran to the bathroom. Chris could hear him spitting and crying. Chris covered Alpha’s wrist with a gauze pad and put him to bed while he waited for Yuuri to come back.

When Chris went back to the living room, Yuuri was waiting on the sofa. He was not crying but he looked like he would again at any moment.

“Ok. Let’s just get this over with so you can go.”

Yuuri nodded once and reached for Chris’ arm.

The pack bonding bite was much different than a mating bite. The feelings generated were less intense and were more platonic in nature. The predominant emotion was loyalty. There was also a good amount of acceptance. Chris liked these feeling too. They supported and validated him as an omega and part of a bonded pair.

Yuuri went to the bathroom again to rinse his mouth. Yuri gave Chris a tentative smile and bandaged his wrist. “Will you let us know how it goes? He’s been so upset,” he said softly. Chris had never seen him so gentle before.

Chris nodded at him. “Just go ahead and leave when he comes out. I’m going to lay down.” He sent a quick text to his doctor saying that the bonding was done and went to get in bed. Alpha was deeply asleep. There was already a change in him. His face was relaxed and his color was better. Chris fell asleep with hope.

\---------------------

Chris was woken up by a hand on his shoulder. “Chris, what’s going on?” Alpha said. He sounded confused but so much more lucid than he had in a long time. “Where are we? Why are we in bed together? Where’s Yuuri?”

Chris was instantly alert. The doctors thought it would be best if they did the bonding at home and Chris was the only one there. When Alpha woke up he could be confused or upset and Chris’ presence would calm him. Having other people in the room would complicate the situation and may confuse him more. They didn’t want to scare him.

The doctors were waiting right outside the apartment, just in case Chris needed help.

Chris pushed himself up in bed and looked at Alpha. His eyes were completely different. They were clear and active, looking around the room for answers. Alpha’s scent was strong and laced with confusion. Chris needed to find out how confused Alpha was before he could help.

“What’s going on?” Alpha asked again. He furrowed his brow.

“You’ve been sick, out of it.” That explanation would do for now. Chris got up and walked around the bed. “Do you want something to drink?” The turned around and Alpha gasped. Chris followed Alpha’s eyes down to his belly. “Yea, I’m starting to show.” He laid his hand down on the curve of his abdomen smiling slightly. “I just found out yesterday, we are having a girl.”

“We? You say that like..” Alpha’s confusion edged into panic. He looked around the room again. “Your scent changed. You smell like you are my… Chris, what happened?”

Chris’ chest felt tight. “You don’t remember.” He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to take deep breaths. He focused on releasing calming pheromones, it would help both of them with this conversation. “What’s the last thing you remember?” They said Alpha may have memory loss and Chris had to find out how much time he was missing.

“Coming home from worlds. Yuuri won. But you weren’t pregnant then. Chris, you’re scaring me.”

“What’s the date?” He asked sharply.

“April 2nd… um… 2017? But that’s not right is it?”

“No, it’s July 9th.” Alpha’s eyes widened but Chris wasn’t done. “2018.”

Alpha’s face went pale and he collapsed back on the bed. “You said I was sick.” He sounded defeated like he didn’t have the energy to fight. “Tell me.”

“Last December, Yuuri broke up with you because you were starting to submit to him. He ignored what was happening for too long and had to send you away.”

Alpha’s eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t stop them from spilling over as he asked: “What does that even mean?” _It must hurt to find out about the break up so long after the fact._

“When an alpha spends a lot of time with a super powerful alpha and starts to submit they will do anything to try to join the pack.” Chris clutched at his shirt over his bond mark while he fought to hold back his tears. _It’s not fair. He doesn’t remember anything._

“When you say ‘do anything’ you mean…” Alpha looked at Chris and slowly the sickening realization hit him. “No.” He backed off the bed away from Chris until he was pressed against the wall. “No.” He was sobbing openly. Chris could smell Alpha’s fear and self loathing. Alpha’s knees gave out and he slid down the wall to the floor. “No.,” he said again. “What did I do? What did I do?” he shouted.

Alpha tore at the bandage on his wrist. “For this? For what? I’m a monster.” He looked around the room wildly for an escape. There was none. Alpha looked back at Chris in abject horror. “And you, you’ve been taking care of me the whole time?”

Chris wrapped his arms around his belly protectively. “I need you.”

Alpha curled up into a ball on the floor like he was trying to shield himself from what happened. “Alpha, stop.” Chris shook his shoulder, trying to distract him from his downward spiral. “Alpha!”

“No. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Alpha repeated it over and over until the words blurred together.

“Victor.” Chris’ breath caught in his chest. “You have to stop!” Black dots swam in his vision and his hands were tingling. _Is this what a panic attack feels like?_ With the last of his strength, he reached for the button to call the doctors.

\---------------------

Melbourne, Australia, July 11, 2018

_Yuri,_

_What Yuuri did worked. Victor woke up. He’s lost more than a year of his memory and is still coming to terms with what’s happened. His memories are starting to come back. We are going to stay here for a while because we both need time to heal._

_Wait for me to contact you._

_Chris_

\----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Summery*** Victor has retreated into his own mind. He will only respond when Chris tells him to do something. They move to Australia to go to a new doctor. Chris decided that because he can not do anything about being bonded to Victor, he will work to make his life happy. Unfortunately, the doctors think Victor is dying because of Yuuri’s rejection. This is why he called Yuuri and Yuri to visit. They think there is a chance that Victor will recover if Yuuri bonds him so Yuuri bonds both Victor and Chris to the pack and leaves. Chris and Victor fall asleep. When they wake up, Victor is lucid again but doesn’t remember anything from the past year. He realizes what he did to Chris and becomes very upset. The chapter ends with an email from Chris to Yuri explaining the memory loss and that they will stay in Melbourne to heal. Chris calls Victor by his name.  
> \---  
> I changed the tags again. Someday, I will get them right. Please let me know if any of the ones I have chosen are inappropriate or if I need to add one. I am bad at tagging and I want them to be right.  
> The world needs more love. Be kind to each other.  
> Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day.  
> \---  
> I have the Tumblr: https://lazyblizzarddefendor.tumblr.com
> 
> Asks are open and I will answer PM's. I would love to hear from you.


	11. ***Note***

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter - Please read it anyway.

Hello friends,

I have a few things to say.

Most importantly, you made it this far and that is amazing. <3 Thank you for reading my story, I hope you continue to enjoy it from her on out. 

There have been many readers that have supported me during this story. Thank you to each and every one of you that has left kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks. These things have kept me going. I am kinda bad at answering comments... but I go back and reread them often. These things you have given me mean so much to me... I can't even describe the feeling I get. Thank you all. <3

I am not giving up on this story (there is no way in hell I’m giving up on this).

It's been a week since I asked my question and the overwhelming response was: You want more of my story! (cue my ugly crying because you made me so happy)

I took everything you said in the comments under consideration and figured out a plan. I will continue to release chapters as I can until the story is complete (This will drop to once a month or so for a while). I will go back and work on the edits that I would like to do but keep them for later. When the story is finished I will update the entire story with the edits, probably with the last chapter.

I have a Tumblr[ lazyblizzarddefendor ](https://lazyblizzarddefendor.tumblr.com/). I don't post much but I always keep an eye on it. I have asks open and I will always answer questions and messages. 

I am saying this again because I can not stress how important this is: You are all amazing and I can not thank you enough for the support you have shown me for this story. 

Thank you for your time

Have a beautiful day.


	12. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri gets upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are quick mentions of Chris and Victor, arguing, and crying in this chapter - please let me know if anything needs to be added.
> 
> I changed the author's note to be a giant thank you to everyone and it explains my choice on how to move forward with the story. 
> 
> Finally, the new chapter is finished! Sorry about the wait. I hope you enjoy it.

\---------------------

_ On culture _

_ There are several points of culture that are specific to dynamics.  _

_ The first of these is courting. This tradition is slightly different than what humans consider dating. This is an agreement between an alpha and an omega that will end one of two ways: bonding or breaking up. This is more serious than dating because a bonding is for life.  _

_ During the courting period, an alpha will present their selected omega with gifts in the hopes they will see the alpha worthy. The omega will typically perform domestic tasks to show the ability to raise young. These behaviors are instinctual and unavoidable during serious courting. You may feel silly doing these things but do not worry, this is natural.  _

_ Third, most dynamics will use a wrist protector. This is usually a wide watch band or other wide bracelet worn on the left wrist. It protects and masks the scent gland in that location as well as hides a pack bonding mark if one is present.  _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Alpha: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Melbourne Australia, July 9, 2018

The ride back to the hotel was quiet, too quiet. A light rain was falling and the air finally cooled off. Australia regularly tried to murder people with its heat even in winter but this rain made it survivable. The rain made the view from the taxi blurry enough for the road to melt into every other road in the world. With as much traveling Yuri did in his lifetime, the differences started to fade into the background and soon enough, every city was exactly the same. 

Yuri could tell that Yuuri was upset but he was holding his scent back, keeping his emotions hidden. This hiding was worse than when Yuuri had a panic attack because there was no way for Yuri to tell what he was thinking or feeling and Yuuri could go over the edge at any moment. It was like a storm brewing out to sea, he could feel it coming but had no idea when the storm would break. Yuri frowned and filled the taxi with his pheromones to try and calm Yuuri. He pushed his scent harder and harder until his fist was balled, white knuckled, into his shirt. It still did not affect Yuuri. 

Yuri would have doubted his ability to produce calming pheromones except for their effect on the taxi driver. He was yet another nameless, faceless driver that blended in with the others except this one was much happier than most, and a beta. He had a huge smile on his face and hummed tuneless nonsense. He had a far away look in his eye that spoke of happier times and pure contentment. There was no way Yuri’s pheromones were not having an effect on Yuuri and that was troubling in itself.

It took forever for the taxi to pull up to their hotel and the driver very happily took much too long to count out the change. Yuuri silently followed Yuri all the way into their room with his head down and his shoulders hunched. When the door closed behind him, Yuuri finally spoke. 

“I have to go wash him off me.” Yuuri’s voice was dull and he looked like he was in pain.

“Don’t take too long, I’m hungry.” Yuri knew that meeting Victor was hard on him so he let Yuuri go right into the shower. Yuri had plans anyway, he had to call Otabek and give him the latest update. The two of them were able to reestablish their friendship after the first email. Yuri took three days to compose a painful email detailing what happened between him and Yuuri, including the situation with Victor, and Yuri’s heartfelt regret for ruining their friendship. 

Otabek’s simple reply of “Ok, friends.” was so typically him that it made Yuri cry and laugh at the same time.  It had only been two weeks but they fell back into their friendship like nothing had happened. Yuri updated Otabek every day on the situation and received small bits of advice and encouragement from his friend. 

This would be the first time they had spoken since they fixed their friendship but Yuri expected that Otabek would be more than willing to take his call. Right now, Yuri needed a friend. 

Otabek answered on the second ring and Yuri started talking as soon as the line connected. “We went to see Victor and Yuuri added him to the pack and he is super messed up about it and in the shower but I’m more worried about Chris because it seems like he is just ignoring the situation and I can’t get the look on his face out of my head.”

Yuri could hear a slight rumbling chuckle from the other end of the line as he paused for breath. “What?” he said sharply, he wasn’t expecting a chuckle. 

“Hello Yura, It’s nice to talk to you again.”  Otabek’s typical deadpan voice was tinged with amusement. Yuri closed his eyes and sighed against the sound. He missed his friend and was still getting used to the idea that Otabek forgave him. 

“Oh, right, hi…” Otabek chuckled again and Yuri felt the heat of embarrassment flood his face. “Ugh, anyway… Chris is ignoring this situation so hard I don’t think he even realizes what really happened to him. It’s not good. He doesn’t look good.  It’s just like…” Yuri could feel the prick of tears in his eyes and decided that he needed to move on.

“I’m worried about Yuuri too. He’s pulled his scent in and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. All his hurt is right on the surface again and he’s not letting me in. I could tell he was upset the whole way here and now it’s even worse. It’s like he doesn’t even see me. It’s very frustrating” Yuri knew he was whining but that’s what friends were for… right?

“What about Victor?”

“Victor will be fine or he won’t and there’s nothing we can do about that now.” Yuri’s voice was bitter and tired and he knew that he was ready to be finished with this ordeal.

“So what’s really bothering you?” Otabek could always tell when there was more going on.

“Yuuri.” Yuri sighed into the phone. He could feel his calm slowly slipping away and he knew things would be better once he said it out loud. “I don’t think he really sees me. I noticed that I support his mood more than I don’t I thought he was getting better but I think I’ve just been smothering him. What if that’s all I am to him, a breathing mood stabilizer? I don’t know what to do other than be angry about it. Beka, I can’t fuck this up…” The tears that were threatening since the beginning of the conversation started to fall in earnest. 

“I’m worried about him all the time and I’m worried that he will want to get rid of me. He’s all I have. I’m pretty sure Yuuri’ll stay with me till the baby’s born but what then? I have nothing and I can’t raise a baby on my own. I want my Dedulya.” Yuri’s voice trailed off into broken sobs and Otabek just waited, making little noises and shushing sounds to let Yuri know he was still listening. 

It took several minutes for Yuri to calm down enough to continue. “I just don’t like not knowing what is going to happen. What do I even do?” 

Otabek made a humming noise in the back of his throat.  It was the sound he made when he was thinking hard about something and it was comforting to Yuri. 

“Have you said any of this to him?” 

“No, of course I haven’t. He’s got enough to deal with and I can’t add stress to that. He’s supposed to be getting better and this’ll make him worse. I won’t do that to him. I can’t.” Yuri’s voice rose higher and higher as he spoke with his tears threatening to break loose again.

“Ok, ok.” Otabek’s voice cut through Yuri’s rant and calmed him. “You need to tell him. Not when you are upset but say something. Give him time. He needs to know.” He had a way of making everything seem so simple, even when it wasn’t.

“Just… tell him?” 

“Yes, he’ll open up, about everything. He’s just slow sometimes.”

“I… um… ok. I’ll try. Thank you.”

“It’ll be ok Yura.” Otabek’s voice sounds so confident, so sure, that Yuri couldn’t argue anymore.

The phone call did help. Yuri had been keeping his emotions to himself for weeks and it was liberating to finally tell someone how he felt. 

It took a little while to gather himself after the talk with Otabek and when he was finally calm again he ordered dinner. After that,  he realized that Yuuri was still in the shower and he’d been in there for more than forty minutes. Enough was enough. He forced his way into the bathroom to make Yuuri come out.

The spray was still on, raining down on Yuuri as he sat on the floor of the shower and sobbed. He looked truly pathetic and broken, sitting there like that but Yuri could only guess at how he really felt because Yuuri was  _ still _ holding his scent in. 

“You have to get out.” His words started Yuuri and he stared up at Yuri like his words didn’t make sense. “I’m hungry and it’s dinner time.” He prompted again. Yuuri still made no move to get out so Yuri turned off the spray and threw a towel at him. “Come out. Sitting in there won’t change anything and dinner will be here soon.” Yuri was out of his depth and had no idea how to deal with Yuuri’s mood.

He went back into the main room to wait for dinner, praying that he would not have to go back in there and force Yuuri to come out. The last thing Yuri needed was for him to get a cold. He didn’t need that on top of everything else that was happening. 

Dinner was there before Yuuri came out of the bathroom so Yuri set it aside to go check on him again. When he looked in, Yuuri was half dressed in front of the mirror. His face was completely calm but he had a dead look in his eyes. It was going to be a long night.

Yuri laid the table and waited. And waited. The food was cold by the time Yuuri came to the bathroom door. He still had the same distant look on his face and Yuri could only sigh. He knew that Yuuri would not be eating despite his best efforts. 

“Why don’t you just go to bed?” Yuri held back his annoyance at Yuuri’s behavior. Yuuri would be in a bad mood after what happened and Yuri was trying to give him time but this was getting a little ridiculous. If he kept going the way he was going, he would be no better off than Victor was. 

“Will you… will you lay with me?” Yuri sighed. Apparently, he wasn’t going to get dinner either. 

“Yea, of course I will. Do you want me to send you to sleep?” 

“Yes, I think that would be best.” Yuuri sat down on the side of the bed and looked down in shame. Sleep was probably the best thing for him right now. It would give him a chance to calm his mind and get his thoughts in order so he could move forward.

“I do need to talk to you but tomorrow will have to be good enough.” Yuri crawled into bed and pulled Yuuri down beside him. Yuuri easily snuggled up beside him and pushed his nose into the scent gland on Yuri’s neck. It was so comfortable to lay here like this, with Yuuri in his arms. This is where he belonged and he would be perfectly content to stay there if he wasn’t so hungry. 

He was also upset that he had to use his pheromones to send Yuuri to sleep again, even though he offered. The fact that Yuuri instantly agreed was troublesome and Yuri was relying on this way too often like he was holding Yuuri together through sheer force of will. It was taking more of a toll on his body than he would like to admit. 

Yuri ran his fingers through Yuuri’s hair over and over again until Yuuri fell asleep. It was still a bit of a surprise to Yuri that he was allowed to touch Yuuri so freely and the pleasant feeling of his soft hair would never get old. 

With the last of his energy Yuri drug himself out of the bed and ate his dinner. It was cold and unappetizing but he forced himself to eat it anyway. His child needed food and this was all he had. Finally, after he finished, he laid down next to Yuuri and fell asleep.

\-----------------------

Melbourne Australia, July 10, 2018

Yuuri spent the night tossing and turning and it meant that Yuri also spent most of the night awake. He had several nightmares and Yuri had to soothe him every time. This left little room for sleep and he was already exhausted from the day before. 

This time he is woken up by the hotel room door closing. It was much too early in the morning for this and all Yuri wanted was to go back to sleep. He groaned and rolled over, reaching for his phone. When he finally got the screen in focus he realized it was past noon.  _ So much for it being too early. _ He felt like he diddn't slept at all. He looked around the room to find out why the door was open and found Yuuri laying the table. The door must have been room service. 

“Hey,” Yuuri said with a quiet smile. “I’m glad you’re awake. I got us some lunch.” Yuuri was still keeping his scent close and his smile was definitely forced. “You look like you are still tired. Why don’t you eat and lay down again?”

Yuri felt slightly better after he slept for several hours but he was getting tired of hiding in the hotel room. He was also hungry again and that was the perfect excuse to go out. Yuuri was not interested. He still had that look in his eyes and his knee started bouncing a mile a minute when Yuri suggested leaving the hotel room. 

Yuri wanted to scream and throw things because he knew that he would not be leaving the room that day. He knew Yuuri needed the time to sort himself out but being closed in like this and unable to do anything to help was stifling. If he couldn’t have dinner than they would talk about what was going on. He bit back his annoyance and started the conversation.

“Fine. If we aren’t going out to eat then let’s have that talk. You're not getting out of it.” Yuri’s patience was running thin and dancing around the subject would get them exactly nowhere. “Let’s talk about Victor firs-”

“It’s all my fault and I know it. I could have done something and I destroyed Victor’s life, Chris’ too.” Yuuri’s voice was full of self-loathing and Yuri could actually smell his scent. It was still light but he was finally showing his emotions. 

“That’s not even what I was going to say.” He tried to keep his voice calm and even while he tried to explain how he felt but Yuuri wasn’t ready to listen.

“I’m so worried about him” Yuuri’s voice was quiet and he had his eyes on the floor. He sounded defeated. There was no way Yuuri was actually going to listen to the conversation and if Yuuri wouldn’t listen, Yuri would make him fucking listen.

“God damn it. What about me? You’re not listening.” Yuri slammed his hand down on the table. “Victor will be fine or he won’t and that’s out of your hands now. Being around them will only make things worse. You making yourself and me sick about this isn’t going to make it fucking better. You have to leave them alone to heal on their own. There’s not a damn thing you can do about it now. Just let it go. I know your anxiety isn’t ever going to go away but, fuck, sometimes it’s too much.” Yuri could feel the heat in his cheeks but at least he wasn’t shouting. 

“What do you mean ‘just let it go’.” He said. His eyes were wide with surprise but his voice was still quiet. “I caused all of this. This is my fault.  You aren’t even involved with this. This is me and Victor and what I did.” Yuuri was wallowing in self-hate so deep that he was not paying attention to what was around him. To Yuri, this was the most hurtful part of the situation. Yuuri didn’t even realize that Yuri was suffering too.

“The fuck I’m not involved with this.” And now he was shouting. It probably wasn’t good for the baby to get this upset but now that he started, he couldn’t stop. “I’m the one that lives with you and I’m the one that has to deal with this bullshit. I am right here with you and I’m not leaving but I’m fucking terrified.” He could feel the tears start down his cheeks.  _ Tears and shouting, just fucking perfect. _

“All the time. Every day I wake up and wonder if we are going to have a good day or a bad day. It’s exhausting.  Always waiting on edge for you to have an anxious day or for you to just tell me to leave. You gave me a bracelet but you have never actually said that you liked me. I have no idea where I actually stand with you.” Yuri hit his stride then, it looked like everything he was feeling was going to come out at once in an unorganized mess. “We were doing alright, more than alright and I felt like everything was going to be ok but then Victor came and fucked everything up again.” Yuuri leaned back into his chair away from the onslaught. He didn’t say anything but he was staring at Yuri in surprise. He was actually listening. 

“You think this is easy? I have no idea what’s going on. I want to be with you because I love you. We are having a baby, together. I am so afraid that you are just going to make me leave. I’m 18 and there’s no way I can have a baby on my own. We can’t split up because you are all I have. I don’t know what to do with a baby. I didn’t have parents.” Yuri stopped and gasped for breath. 

Yuuri leaned forward and opened his mouth to speak but Yuri cut him off. “I’m not finished yet. The closest thing I had to a real parent was Lilla and Yakov.  You've met them. I have no fucking clue how to be a parent. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know if I will ever be good enough. I am so scared that this kid will end up all fucked up like I am.” Yuri could feel the bitterness in his voice but at least Yuuri was paying attention.

“Something needs to change and I don’t know what to do. You need to pay more attention to me.” Yuri’s anger ran out and he was left with bitter tears. He put his head down on the table and sobbed. He felt Yuuri’s hand on his back and he could smell Yuuri’s scent was again. It was still tinged with self-loathing but the comfort and apology smells were stronger. 

“Hey, come and sit with me.” Yuri looked up at him. There were tears in Yuuri’s eyes too.

“I can’t.” Yuri couldn’t walk even if he wanted to, his legs were weak and he was still sobbing freely. He reached his arms up to Yuuri like a child asking to be picked up. Yuuri took the hint and carried him over to the sofa. 

Yuuri settled on the sofa with and tucked Yuri’s head into his neck. They sat like this for several minutes while Yuri cried. Yuri could tell that Yuuri was trying to be as calm and comforting as possible. He ran his fingers through Yuri’s hair and rocked him until he finally calmed down. 

“I didn’t know,” Yuuri said after Yuri had gone quiet. “I just…I didn’t know.”

“I was hiding it because I thought it would make it worse.” Yuri felt small admitting this. It was stress Yuuri didn’t need and he was only going to make things worse. 

“You will be taken care of.” Yuuri’s scent got stronger and it was filled with a mix of aggression and protection. There was also the overpowering smell of Petrichor that was purely alpha. He laid his hand on the small curve of Yuri’s abdomen. “This child is as much mine as it is yours and you will be protected but, you have to tell me when there is a problem.” 

Yuri looked up at Yuuri in surprise. His face was flushed and he looked so serious. His eyes held a hint of danger but it was directed outward like he was waiting for something to come and threaten his family. Yuri started to cry again.

He believed Yuuri.

\-----------------------

Melbourne Australia, July 11, 2018

Yuuri was very affectionate the next morning and it was nice. They were still in bed snuggling with Yuuri’s arm wrapped around Yuri, his hand resting on the small baby bump. Yuri was reading through the room service menu for the third time. He could not decide what he was hungry for and was mildly frustrated about it because he was very hungry, he felt like he could never be full again. Every so often Yuuri’s hand would stroke Yuri’s abdomen and he would make a contented noise deep in his throat. 

There was a slight change in Yuuri after the fight the day before. He was no longer keeping his emotions out of his scent and there was an underlying current of Petrichor that was not usually there. It was as if, at some point during the fight, Yuuri remembered he was an alpha with a child on the way and his instincts kicked in. 

Otabek was right, Yuri did feel much better after he told Yuuri how he felt. They didn’t talk much after the fight but the way Yuuri was acting now made all the difference. Yuri was covered head to toe alpha scent and he really felt like everything would be ok. Yuuri was still upset but now his emotions were not completely taking over his thoughts. It was progress.

Yuri had his options for breakfast narrowed down to two when an email came. It was from Chris.

_ Yuri, _

_ What Yuuri did worked. Victor woke up. He’s lost more than a year of his memory and is still coming to terms with what’s happened. His memories are starting to come back. We are going to stay here for a while because we both need time to heal. _

_ Wait for me to contact you. _

_ Chris _

Yuri read the email out loud a second time to let Yuuri process the information. When it finally sank in, Yuuri’s eyes filled with tears of relief. 

“Well, at least what you did worked and I’m happy that Chris says he needs to heal too.” They both knew that they had no power over the situation but knowing what happened brought some measure of relief. 

Yuuri didn’t say anything, he just held Yuri closer.

\-----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [narikopathfinder](http://archiveofourown.org/users/narikopathfinder/pseuds/narikopathfinder) for all of your help and ideas while I was writing this chapter. I could not have done this without you. You guys should go check her out, she’s amazing!
> 
> Thank you for your support.
> 
> Have a beautiful day.


	13. More Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after the fight and things are... interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! A wild chapter appears. 
> 
> There are no excuses but hey, this isn't abandoned. 
> 
> I don’t think this chapter needs any warnings. The rubber band makes an appearance and there’s fade to black sex at the end.
> 
> Thank you for clicking on this chapter.

_ On knotting during pregnancy: _

_ One of the most surprising features of sharing a pregnancy with your omega is the change in knotting control. An alpha will almost always have control over their knot except during a shared heat and a shared pregnancy.  _

_ Knotting during pregnancy serves to strengthen the bond between alpha and omega by forcing intimacy and scent sharing. This is pleasurable for both parties and highly beneficial when experienced on a regular basis.  _

_ -Excerpts from ‘So, You Presented as an Alpha: a Guide for Young Dynamics’ _

\---------------------

Melbourne Australia, July 11, 2018

“You’re pulling your scent in again.” Yuri threw his fork down on the table and frowned at Yuuri. He was finally eating breakfast. It had taken him another hour after Chris’s email came to decide on blueberry pancakes. He got two orders because Yuuri wouldn’t choose anything and when Yuuri refused to eat, Yuri started on the second plate. 

Yuuri had not said a word since the email, he just stayed in bed and stared at the ceiling. Super helpful. Yuri could tell by the look on his face that he was thinking himself around in circles. It was good that he was working through it but Yuri knew he could not let Yuuri withdraw into himself again. Yuuri’s emotions bounced back and forth between guilt, pain, relief, and despair. 

Every once in awhile Yuuri would glance over to Yuri and his scent would change to happiness, slightly tinged with worry. His brow would relax and the corners of his mouth would turn up the littlest bit. Every time it happened Yuri felt a shiver run down his spine, he knew this look was just for him.

In the last ten minutes or so Yuuri’s thoughts had turned darker and darker. He started to pull his scent in again as his thoughts went slowly out of control. Yuri was no stranger to this cycle and he was determined to let Yuuri handle it on is own instead of jumping in and drowning it with pheromones. 

“You have to stop blocking your scent. It hurts worse when you keep it in.” Yuri frowned at him. He had been feeling a lot better since Yuuri finally scented him again and pulling his scent in like that would just make things go back to the way they were.

He looked away and bit his lip. “Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it.” 

Yuri looked down at his wrist where a rubber band was hiding in his bracelets. He thought long and hard last night about how to help Yuuri without smothering him and a rubber band was the best he could come up with. It was working well enough before… kinda. Now, Yuri just needed to figure out how to bring it up in conversation. 

“The pancakes are almost gone. Are you sure you don’t want any?” Yuuri shook his head. 

“Whatever.” Yuri rolled his eyes. That was just fine with Yuri, as he finished the plate by himself. He actually felt full for the first time in weeks.

When Yuri was done eating he went over to his suitcase and dug through it. 

“I’m going to get a shower.” Yuri snuck glances over at Yuuri. He was biting his lip again and his thoughts were going dark. Yuri ran his finger over the rubber band and sighed. He knew what was coming.

“Could you just-”

“No. Deal with this on your own.” Yuri was not going give in. Now was as good a time as any for the rubber band so he walked over and stood in front of Yuuri and waited for him to look up. 

It took a while.

“I think,” Yuri tilted his chin up for courage. Nothing about this was easy. “I think you need to have this back.” 

He threw the rubber band on the bed next to Yuuri without breaking eye contact. 

“I can’t keep supporting you the way I have been. It’s not healthy for either of us.” 

Yuuri slowly closed his eyes and nodded. He would need time to think about things before he was ready to talk to Yuri again.

Yuri went into the bathroom without looking back at Yuuri, as it was too tempting to help him. He did leave the door cracked open though, just in case. After he got the shower going he texted Otabek and told him about the fight. Otabek’s only comment was “At least he knows now.”

Yuri ground his teeth in frustration. Otabek could be a little more fucking helpful.

When he took off his shirt Yuri took time to look at himself, something he hadn’t done in a few days. His abdomen had a defined curve to it, sloping down to where is sweatpants were slung low over his hips. He saw the pictures and heard the heartbeat but this was physical, irrefutable proof that there was a child growing inside him. 

Yuri trailed his fingers up his belly and smiled. There was something so relaxing about being able to see the proof while being covered in his alpha’s scent. It had to be his instincts because he should not feel so good about not knowing anything about the future. 

He would just have to wait until Yuuri was focused enough to talk about it. Yuri sighed and finished undressing. He showered quickly because as soon as the water hit him he wanted to be scented again. He finally felt sated by Yuuri’s scent and now he was washing it all down the drain. What a waste.

When Yuri was dried off and dressed in a pair of leggings and Yuuri’s dirty t-shirt he took the time to dry his hair. The vitamins were making it grow and it was starting to get out of hand. When he was finished he left it down so Yuuri could braid it. 

He checked to see if Otabek had anything else to say and of course, there was nothing. 

Yuri could hear Yuuri talking to someone and it set him on edge. He clenched his jaw as anger ran through him. Sure, this was only a hotel room but with the fight they just had and all the other stress, it felt like an intrusion on his territory. He narrowed his eyes and peeked out the bathroom door to see who he needed to remove and only found Yuuri.

Yuuri was sitting on the bed and leaning back against the headboard with his phone propped up against his knees. A Skype call wasn’t that much of an intrusion so Yuri waited at the door and listened in. 

Phichit’s excited voice came through the phone and filled the room. “You know better than that.” Yuuri’s face turned sour and Yuri realized that Phichit wasn’t excited, he was angry.

Yuuri held his wrist up to the phone to show Phichit the rubber band. He closed his eyes and sighed. “I really thought I was getting better, but Yuri gave this back today.”

Phichit scoffed. “You know that’s not how that works. You have to get better on your own, ignoring the problem or expecting it to just go away because he’s there isn’t going to magically solve it for you. He has every right to be as angry as he is.”

“I know.” Yuuri had the grace to look ashamed. 

Phichit knew that look well enough to know it was time to change the subject. “So, you said Yuri is doing better today?” His voice was much softer than it had been. 

Yuuri smiled tentatively. 

“Yeah, he’s in a bad mood but he looks better. Those dark circles under his eyes are gone and he ate two servings of breakfast. That’s the most I’ve seen him eat in a while. I also noticed...” Yuuri made a half circle motion near his abdomen indicating the baby bump. “It’s so little but it’s there.”

“That’s good. Yuuri, hold onto that, that’s what you should be focusing on.” Yuri could hear the smile in Phichit’s voice. It took a moment for Yuri to remember that Phichit knew exactly what he was talking about, since he had two children of his own.

Yuuri blushed and looked around the room. “It’s so amazing.” He saw Yuri standing in the doorway and smiled wider. 

“I have to go, Yuri’s finished his shower.” Phichit got out a quick goodbye before Yuuri hung up the phone and waved Yuri over to him. “I can smell the difference already. Do you want me to rescent you?”

“Yes.” Yuri sat down on the bed next to Yuuri and tilted his head back. He shivered when Yuuri ran his hand down the side of his neck, over his scent gland. 

Yuuri hummed low in his throat and gathered Yuri into his lap. “It’s better like this.” Yuuri wound his arms around Yuri’s waist, pulling him up against his body, and buried his face in the soft flesh of his neck. Yuri relaxed into him and let the alpha scent wash over him. This is exactly where he wanted to be. When they were like this he could almost forget their problems. 

Yuuri shifted slightly so Yuri’s face fell into his neck. Yuri was so relaxed that he purred. He would find time to be embarrassed about it later but right now, he just didn’t care. 

Yuri was almost asleep when Yuuri pushed him back to look him in the face. His cheeks were slightly pink and he refused to meet Yuri’s eyes. “Phichit made me feel a bit better, after he yelled at me.” 

“Oh, so someone else thinks you should be yelled at?” Yuri was trying to lighten the mood and it almost worked because this time, Yuuri’s sour face was more comical than upset.

“At least we are leaving Australia soon. I think I hate it here.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to hate it too.” Yuri sighed and pushed his face back into the crook of Yuuri’s neck. “So much shit’s happened but we can’t go home yet.”

“Why can’t we go home?”

“We are going to see your mom. I think you need her. I think she’ll make you feel better.” Yuri pushed back and looked into Yuuri’s eyes. 

Yuuri blushed and smiled at Yuri. “That will make me feel better. She always makes me feel better.”

“Beka said that’s what moms are for.”

Yuuri silently mouthed his words back to him with a look of shock on his face. “Yes, that’s what moms are for.” Yuuri snorted. It turned into a full belly laugh that he couldn't control. 

Yuri pushed away from him and sat up straight. "It's not funny." His voice was sharp.

“You had to ask Otabek.”

Yuuri was still fucking laughing.

"I said it's not funny. I don't fucking know how to be a parent."

"You're right, it's not funny. I don't know how to be a parent either. It's ridiculous, what are we going to do?" Yuuri's laughter was tinged with panic. 

Yuri frowned and crossed his arms. “If it’s not funny why are you laughing so hard?”

“I don’t even know.” Yuuri pressed feather light kisses to the corners of Yuri’s lips. “Don’t be angry. Laughing is better than screaming.”

Finally, Yuri allowed himself to smile. Once he started he couldn’t stop and his smile became giggles, then full out laughter. They laughed together until they had to cling to each other, gasping for breath, with tears in their eyes. 

“You’re right. It is ridiculous. We are so fucked." Yuri said when he could breathe again.

Yuuri dropped his head into Yuri's neck and his laughter quieted. "No, that’s what got us here." 

This set them both off again, laughing harder. It was true, it was all true. 

Yuuri flopped back on the bed and pulled Yuri with him. Yuri tensed as he hovered over Yuuri.  He was so close, Yuri could almost taste him. Yuuri grabbed his glasses and made a half-hearted attempt to get them to the nightstand. 

“Shit.” Was all Yuri could say before Yuuri lunged forward and smashed their lips together. This was different than the kisses they usually shared. It was dark, full of passion and desperation. It was exactly what Yuri needed.

When they broke for air Yuri whispered: “I need you.” Across Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri shivered and arched his back. He was giving himself over to it and if Yuuri was going to give, Yuri was going to take.

\---------------------

“I can’t believe you fucking bit me like that.” Yuri was standing at the bathroom sink lightly dabbing at a deep bite mark in the flesh of his right shoulder with a warm towel. 

Full of guilt, Yuuri winced and hovered near the bathroom door. Yuri was  _ angry _ . After Yuuri bit him, Yuri thoroughly cursed him out then gave him the silent treatment the entire time they were tied. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience. 

Having sex right then probably wasn’t the best idea because Yuuri had been thinking a little too hard about bonding Yuri and almost went for it. He was able to turn his head at the last moment but this was still bad. 

Really bad.

They haven’t really had this conversation, even though they were courting, and it was far too soon to just go ahead with it, no matter how much he wanted to.

“You are lucky the sex was good.” Yuri finally looked up and pinned him with a stare. Yuuri could feel the rage rolling off of him. 

“I’m sorry… I, um...” This was the third time he had tried to apologize and Yuri wasn’t having it. Yuri frowned, huffed at him, and stomped into the other room.

Yuuri followed him, desperate. “We didn’t talk about bonding yet. It was stupid. I was stupid.” At least Yuri’s anger gave him something to focus on instead of dwelling on their other problems. 

Yuri stopped in the middle of the room, drew himself up, and gave Yuuri an extravagant frown. “This hurts.” He pointed savagely at his shoulder. “I’m not angry that you wanted to bond me. Hell, I want you to bond me and I wouldn’t have been angry if you did but this, this fucking hurts.”

“I wouldn’t just bond you, I’m not…”  _ I’m not Victor. _ The unsaid thought hung in the air between them. 

The color drained out of Yuri’s face and he seemed to deflate. “No, you’re not. I wouldn’t have been angry.” 

Yuuri let out a gusty sigh, Yuri looked like he was calming down and that, at least, was progress. “So, when does our flight leave?” He was grasping at straws but maybe if he changed the subject, they could salvage the rest of their evening.

Yuri rolled his eyes like he knew exactly what Yuuri was doing but went along with it anyway. “It’s at 9 tomorrow morning. It’s kinda early but it’s the only one they had for tomorrow.” Yuri scrunched up his nose. Neither of them were morning people.

“It’ll do. What are the plans after that?”

“I figured you didn’t want to go home, so we have a room in Fukuoka and your mom is going to come visit the day after we get there.”

Yuuri went still. He had been so scared to go home. As much as he wanted to go and see his parents he was terrified to step into the onsen. The memories of living there were crushing him and being there again were bound to make them worse. Yuri was too good to him.

“Thank you.” He whispered before the emotion overwhelmed him and his tears took over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much [LGFUADJJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LGFUADJJ/pseuds/LGFUADJJ) for helping me with this chapter. <3<3
> 
> I hope you all have a beautiful day.


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